Friday, May 09, 2008

but there was a void....

He was standing there again watching the sun rise. It's been long since he came here last. He had been all busy in his materialistic world forgetting each and everything he used to love. He used to come here nearly everyday to watch the sunrise and her.

She was the daughter of the owner of the Tea-stall in the ghat where he used to spend his first morning hour as a routine sipping tea, watching the sunrise, little birds chirping all around flying in formation as like they are hearing the melancholy of the rising sun, the boatman washing their boats waiting for the foreign tourist to get some more bucks, loads of foreigner pairs cuddling under one shawl and watching the sunrise together, little kids jumping naked in the river and obviously her sweeping the front of tea stall,wiping the little glistening drops of sweat of her face and arranging the disheveled hairs off her forehead.

He always wanted to speak to her but in Banaras, it means a solid piece of thrashing from her father and all the nearby shopkeepers. So he used to watch her working daily. Sometime he would get lucky when both made an eye contact and a warm streak of smile dazzle her face, and he used to rejoice the moment throughout the day. Sometime he used to think whether she too feels for him in the same way or may be she too wanted to talk to him, but everytime the next flash was of her father thrashing him blue and black. So he used to watch her like a true devotee.

It was not that he wasn't popular or he lacked a life, but he always wanted to be off the tracks and that's what made him popular. He used to smoke joints, drink barrels of bear and vodkas, smoke cigarettes with young brats and since he was the senior-most, he used to get the largest shares of all. He was popular in virtual world too, he had an orkut account with never seen before number of scraps, with loads of fan following, and loads of girls falling for him. There he fell for a gal. She was a perfect piece of beauty with brimming innocence. He fell for her the moment he saw her, she too was interested in him. They used to talk for hours but soon indifference kicked in and she left him. He moved on with his best frnd, and soon love was in the air, but like always, soon he was all alone, may be he was not ready for the commitment. The load of the new course he was in, was also tremendous. He was all buried in deriving out his materialistic future and he was left all alone.

Today he kicked his bike once again and with the i-pod in ears to see the rising sun again. The scene again captivated his soul, but there was a void...and he stood there silently....


  1. Committment sucks cos it asks for more than what an 'average' man can give. :)

    u wrote the story beautifully.


  2. sissy...
    the boy was me and it happened today only...just wrote it as a third person..

    I don kno abt commitment..but wat i kno is m not ready for it..i have got hell lot of issues...

  3. You have but one lifetime to give to the woman u love... might as well do it... why no commitment..???

  4. pata nhi yaar...i m just not ready to take up responsibility of one more life..i can't manage my own...ek aur toh bahut tough hoyega

  5. nicely written - is it really a void...or just like you are honest that you are not ready for commitment - its just a wonderful memory....

  6. the narration is beautiful Sourish! more so coz it is heart-felt!

    u lov the feeling of being in lov... but u think u r not ready :)

    believe me it is not u who decide... :)

    it happens to the best of us :D

  7. ceedy

    i dun kno wat's the void..i felt it ..i wrote..the story is abt me...just wat i felt in the morning....wriiten as a third person give a nice read...tired of writing i did that n all... :)yeah i do feel m not ready for commitment :)

  8. Veens

    thanks gal...

    u were spot on wid the observation..that's me only :|

    I don kno abt others but sumtime i feel that i destroyed many lives due to this only :)

  9. abe..responsibility se acche acche change ho jate hai..tu kis khet ki muli hai re!!!

  10. so its u? awww..

    so if ur not prepared for Committment now, dont commit. :)Dun do anything unless ur heart wants u to do it.


  11. You know, I think you did the right thing! You do not want to enter something that right now you are not sure about!

    When you get ready and feel more stable you will find the one that is for you! Timing is everything,well at least for me anyway!!

    This is all deals with the matters of the heart.. Don't jump until it tells you to jump!!! I have just now felt Love for the first time, in my life.. scary but yet comforting!!


  12. samby...

    Unnecessary life ko change karke kya hoga..wo bhi kya pata ki wo happy change ho ya nahi :|

  13. Sissy..

    plan is sumfink like that only...but sumtime seriously I feel alone...i feel why i threw everything away wen i cud had everything in the world...then i feel so holllow inside

  14. cinder single
    I m very happy for ya that u got to feel the love..some stays unlucky ever to get that..
    yeah u r rite ..timing is the key to happiness..
    like u said..i do believe in that line..
    "look before u leap"
    but in this process of lookout i hurt many..seems like love is not my cup of tea.

  15. Hey! you just stated that you hurt them, so you know now! so the best thing to do now is just move on!!

    Don't look back, move forward, you have learned a lot in past relationships that you will be so good and have a lot of offer your next "Love" Oh look at me sounding like a Dear Abby column! haha! I am adding you to my blog roll!!!!

    Thanks for stopping by.. that was nice of you!

  16. hey thanx for adding me up..i was also gonna do the same...jus was feeling lil lazy :P

    lady..i moved on for so many time..that i myself feel like a train on a neva ending journey ..who halts at station but never has any destination to call it as own...

    but may be like u said my train mite halt sumday.. :-|

  17. Dude...commitment is big issue. So jab tak tu kuhd nahi sochta k tu ready hai, never jump into it jus for the heck of it.
    And you neednt say that is you only in the story, let the reader make his own interpretation. Gives it a different flavour.
    Make you own life first. Pehle khud ko sambhal fir kisi ko sambhane ki scochna. But once you make a commitment , make sure you do it for a lifetime...

  18. cindy..

    arre wo story nhi likh raha tha na :P

    yeah i think that too..i needn't had said that..

    yeap u r correct 101 % pehle main khud ko hi sambhal nhi pata..commitment kya sambhaloonga :-|

    PS: how was the mutton day ?? bahut maje kiya na :P

  19. very well written mate....dil dukhi mat kar

  20. then u've just got to do it. its either no committment or committment. U cant hv it both :)


  21. sissyy..
    i guess so...
    dats y m all alone :-|
    but it has got an advantage..i can get high anetime..n i don hav to take permission for that :D

  22. Hello Bhaiya,
    Thoda ajeeb hai side u show him as a soiled, smoking, drinking brat and then u show him as a sweeet innocent guy quietly enjoying the sunrise!
    Actually cldnt understand much of the story....BTW bro...u shouldn;t act like that to young gals...I'm one too LOL!

    BTW, where do u live...UP or Kolkata??

  23. Nahi duffer..I never meant o say that you cant handle your handle your life.
    i said it in a generalistic view. Lwts learn to habld eoursleves better before we start to make ourselves blieve that we can handle someone else's too...

    Thats what I meant.

    utton hua hi nahi ! You jimxed thw whole thing perhaps. We cooked biriyani !!

    Ab kaisa hai. Cheer up buddy. Doesnt feel nice to see you low.


  24. meghna:)

    every person has a dark as well as a soft i tried to present that thing together and the reason behind it..
    btw wat i behaved wid young gal...huh.. :-o

    meghna m a kolkatan but i m in UP banaras..for studies ..:)

  25. cindy...
    waah waah maine jinx kiya toh mutton ki jagah biryani kha liya ..toh yeh jinx kaise hua :-|
    main bhi 5 - 6 dino se sirf kha hi raha haiiin pardies ..thak gya hoon coz iss time mera nummer hai unhe dene ka :P

    btw I dint took ur word as offence earlier...coz i kno u cant see me u won't sat anefink which is not of use..
    m honored to have u in my life


  26. **i can get high anetime..n i don hav to take permission for that

    somehow thats why I like being single too :)


  27. sissyy...
    true...u dont have to hear the moral tantrums ...

    but becoming single has it's own problem..nd i m facing a rarest of rare one :P

  28. comment on your daily update...

    kya hua?

  29. anjuli di..
    nuffin such.. m handling it...
    srry cant disclose....

  30. k then dun visit me anymore!


  31. why is this arrogance out of no where???
    is anything wrong???

  32. k
    i c

    Seems like u don want me there...
    as u's ur blog aftall...
    u have got so many frnds ova dere nd m no 1 to be missed..but i too have a self dignity..

    God bless u :)

  33. o gawd ur such a losa...LOL I didnt mean that I dun want u there!! hahahaha!

    Why I said that was...I saw u in other blogs but not in my recent DOWN post :( thats why u mofo! LOL come bak now!

    And where d u always GO to????


  34. Hey YM te asshbi to aamake ping korish, ok ? Lots to tell you..again...hahaha...!!!

    Off to where btw ?

    Will miss you. Get back soon. And take care.

    *hugs buddy*


  35. sissy...
    I was busy wid some real life issues but i was not that late I read that before but as i was going to comment my connection went off nex time I got time i commented on that..and was amazed that it was not even published...
    k u were kidding..seems like I m not able to differentiate between jokes n realities..m getting sick...

    m off for some work and moreover my hostel will be changing so will not be able to come online

  36. Cindy...


    phir se...will try to come..though m leaving tonite...


    kaam hai re kuchh important...hope things go good and widout any more trouble..
    will miss u too

  37. wonderful story sir n grt b/g muzik


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