Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Read in my life..

I was being blackmailed for several days for threats like.. " I won't talk to you" and beating me up on our fst meet wenever we met..It didn't ended up like this..she called me Chhagol (goat in bengali) and warned me of severe consequences as I was so afraid of doing the task she wanted me to do...I am so scared of this mammoth task that can expose me to the world..( stop thinking Pervys ..expose means my inner self not me nude dancing on the desktop :P )..yeah the ghosty greeny lady in the picture..(click that to enlarge) tagged me wid this tag of 30 question ..out of which I don't kno several of the answer..think how mammoth the task is :O..I havn't answered all the 30 question even in my examination papers :-|..but I am so scared of this little chi chi bird..that am going to do...

For u Cindy :P..

*Dedicated to the all the kids in the pics who are scared and staring away :D ... May be she asked them to do the tag and I fink they are scared too of her * khikhikhikhi :P

So here goes the tag...........

1. Last movie you saw in a theater?
A. Mmmmhmmm..I am not a theatre guy..Cindy..plz don't kill me... :|..last movie i remember seeing was 'Border' wid my dad..and I was amazed a person can sleep amidst so much gun shots and roaring tanks..hehehe that's my 'supercop' Dad..He told me in the end.. "Beta theatre was kool..they have very good air conditioning :P" Dad..khikhikhi u r great...

2. What book are you reading?
A. Book.. :-s..I am reading..mmm mmmm..Textbooks???? :-s...yeah Fountainhead..which m trying to read for three years..yet cudn't reach half of it... :P yeah completed ..'Contagion' by Robin Cook few days back :-|..for the third time..

3. Favorite board game?
A. Ludo, snake and ladder, business, and am state level champion in Chess . Cindy decided hum beach par jayenge toh Ludo khelenge... :P

4. Favorite magazine/s?
A. Don't ask me this question..I hate magazines..though i have a subscription of e Playboy :P..but that's for the other reason :P

5. Favorite smells?
A. Fried Onions and my Musk Cologne... :P

6. Favorite sounds?
A. Chirping birds...havn't heard the other chirping bird on my not talking abt her :P..may be one day she mite find a place here :D

7. Worst feeling in the world?
A. Sitting idle in my room in any summer afternoon wid lite gone and nuffin to do..and emotionally facing the sarcasm from my loved one

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
A. Where's my mouse..(oh god! talking abt my comp mouse) take out my computer out of standby to see the time

9. Favorite fast food place?
A. Nowadays I like 'Flavourz cafe' a lot..their Mocha is awesome and so is their Chicken Grilled sandwiches..... and so is the atmosphere wid that cosy couch..

10. Future child’s name?
A. Tinki for the gal and Pichku for the boy.. :P

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….?”
A. Make my own swimsuit calender.. :p

12. Do you drive fast?
A. Sometimes..but normally I am 40 -60 Kmph kindda guy..but had breached 107 not long back...but that's jus for testimg my bike's performance :)

13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
A. no kiddy boy :|

14. Storms - cool or scary?
A. I love the coldness and power of the blowing wind, the rise and falls of the high waves of ocean.. and with rain's an awesome combo..but it becomes aweful if you see the trees and branches, wires and polls and shattered glasses flying wid it..and if you had ever stayed near the port..the water reaching up to ur waist adds more masala to the awe :P

15. What was your first car?
A. Mommy give me my fst 'Hot wheels' when i was three and i still have it :P

16. Favorite drink?
A. Vodka with lime cordial and crushed ice...and if wid lil dimes in the pocket..I skip the lime Cordial and have.. Vodka ..neat with ice..the ice makes it cooler for the mouth and wen the vodka drips throught the throat it makes it's awesome..

17. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?
A. I wud love to go out for a holiday to be wid mom n dad and my lil nephew :)

18. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
A. What else do you eat in broccoli then :-s..

19. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
A. I wanted to make it Greenish black..but everyone ..rite from my supervisor to my dad..were against to it :P !

20. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?
A. Dhanbad, Calcutta, Samastipur, Mujahfarpur, Kochin, Korba, Baroda, Durgapur, Namrup Salboni, Haldia, Varansi...thanks to the my Counter-Terrorist Dad's transferrable job...

21. Favorite sports to watch?
A. Women Tennis, Women beach-ball, Women Diving..Women gymnastics for leisureand F1 Car racing, superbikes and Extreme men sports for entertainment.
Some body told me that what goes in Naughty America is also a sport :P

22. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?
A. Cindy...hmmmm...I can write a whole article on her and will sumday write too but in short she and me have the same frequency and we bitch a lot together and love call ourselves sick while bitching about the populars :P

23. What’s under your bed?
A. All the things I lost can find it there.. :P

24. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
A. Love to..wid same mom and wud be dream come true... but I don't kno mom and dad wud want me to be their naughty son again or not :p khikhikhi..

25. Morning person, or night owl?
A. Nowadays I sleep at 2 AM and wake up at 6 AM ..sumtime 5:30 AM..u decide what I am :P

26. Over easy, or sunny side up?
A. What's dis???? Time Please....Cindyyyyyyyyyyy ..explain :P

27. Favorite place to relax?
A. My room....on my bed wid no clothes on..

28. Favorite pie?
A. My cutie-pies are my Parents, didi, my nephew, my shweetheart..I adore her still..and there was a lil girl whom I used to adore like my own son..even her name meant that only..I fink she might be the second best after my nephew.

29. Favorite ice cream flavor?
A. Butter Scotch.

30. Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first?
A. Me not gonna tag any one...coz 30 long ques..they wud kill me for that..

But my sis Clouds and Ananya.. I know they wud love to do it ..even i wud like them to do that :)..but not mandatory..

This post is for u Cindy Bhindi...the sweetest gal I met in the Bloggerville...

Sunday, April 27, 2008

One of the Seven Deadly Sins - Vanity (addition)

The Vanity or Pride is regarded the greatest of sin.

Pride of being beautiful or attractive, Pride of seeing urself the important one, Pride of the power u have been given and pride of every earthly or physical attributes were always condemned by many of ancient religious scriptures.

All the greatest falls of power came due to this pride only...
Helen was proud of her was Cleopatra..
Troy was proud of it's warriors, walls and gates...
Achilles was proud of being the unbeatable
Roman empire was proud of it's power
British empire was proud to be the ruler of the world...
Everyone faced the fall..and they were literally wiped, of the world.

So when u have power or when u r different from the general..Don't be proud of it. Only use it for the good cause, if u can't the sin will take you straight to hell..
It's not about hell..if u think urself too high from the ground..just remember one thing if u fall this height may kill u ..

Vanity doesn't mean that.. u have the power and u misused it..even if u use it for a good deed and become proud of takes it toll.

There are loads of stories on how vanity drove people insane..and some who got control over it made themselves to the legends...

So have control over vanity and be a legend...

These are the comments highlights where my dearest readers had pour in their thoughts about it

Ever hopeful - Vain pride leads to downfall. You might be knowing that Ravana was very intelligent, brave and gifted person. he was a great scholor as well as warrior. He tasted defeat becuase of his pride. Rightly said "Ahankar to ravan ka bhi nahin raha"

Supressing one's emotions in name of manliness is also false pride and showing it make one more human.

Sourish Most of the time being a manly prick is the main cause of troubles...i fink better to be a human and utilise all the god gifted instincts instead of pretending to be emotionless ..
Fredrick Nietzsche also explained vanity exactly as..vanity is an example of the previous, master set of morals that has been replaced with slave moralities..but he loved this sin coz he thought that becoming falsely noble means ..ordinary people will have more of the nobleness than insipidity..

Keshi - Its not a sin to admire one's abilities whatever it may be. After all, if we cant identify wuts good abt us, love ourselves and use those qualities to make ourselves and others happy, wuts the use of the individuality in us? If u let the Ego take over completely, thats when self-destruction begins.

Sourish - Taking pride of urself is cumulative's start wid the feeble most feeling and it ends up being an obsession and then it start taking it's toll.. u will feel it harmless but soon u will find urself in everybody's bad book.. Wen u blush on ur praises,and explain how simple u r as for u being simple is worth mentioning and that's Vanity.

Kashmira - I would say be proud of who you are, not arrogant. Be proud of who you are, but don't look down upon others.

- if u r boasting of sumthing..someone is getting down to make u reach that point...koi harta hai tabhi koi jeet ta hai and if u get pride of the win..the looser will find that and may create a chaos.. :)

Cindy- Pride is nothing but a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from achievements, qualities or possessions that do one credit. Pride also means being conscious of one's dignity.

Vanity is the negative extension of pride, which is when we come to a fall. With vanity pride ceases to exist and it no more stands as just a form of being conscious about your dignity.

Its just a thin line that separates both. But its equally imperative to decide which side you're on.

Read the thoughts of others and if you want to pour in urs.. u r always welcome

Read the thoughts of others and if you want to pour in urs.. u r always welcome

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The new IPL mania... Cheerleaders in India..

The first match RC Bangalore with Kolkata Knight riders..everyone's eye was fixed on two things...Mccullum's blasting innings and on the flying skirts of cheerleaders...
The cricket in India reached a new high with advent of a never before phenomena the sexy cheerleaders...

So, here are the few comments on the Americanization of the last British thing ..yeah M talking about Cricket..Cheerleaders... :D

Sourish (Let's start with me )
Since I am living in hostel and no TV, our frnds stream the matches on their comps and we see it on our comps...and seeing those flying skirts..
" Abe ..yeh McCullum chhakka kab marega...tabhi saale yeh cameraman unn mast maalo par focus karte hai..kya naach rahe hai bidu... feel aa gayi."

One of my friend, on the next match with Delhi vs Mumbai
" Saala kitna sadela match tha naa kisi ne dhang se batting ki hi koi ladki nacchi..sala aaj toh mera luck hi kharab hai..sala exam time mein 2 ghante poore barbaad hue "

So wats there with Mahila Mukti Morcha NCW(National Commission for Women)....they talk about India and woman's rights..oh yeah! woman do have rights ...but wearing short skirts and

"Tauba tauba..dekho yeh firangiyan kinna kamar matkati hai..humari toh kamar hi toot jaye" lol it's in my words wat they really said...

"I find nothing wrong with the concept if it is just for adding entertainment element to the game. It has to be presented in the right manner keeping the Indian values intact,"I think we should promote our culture by bringing folk dancers and musicians in these matches. We have so much variety in our culture, dresses that after some point of time foreign countries will start imitating us,"

lol.. now u can actually see doordarshan on IPL and NHL grounds..with bharatnatyam going in with every shot of sixes..

So wat does Swamijis are to say about it..(my god! swamiji kabhi toh chup ho jao..indian budget k baad cheerleaders bhi :O )
One of them outrightly rejected the cheer-leading concept and said it is degrading Indian culture.
"It is the height of vulgarity and it should be stopped. People in the age group of 10 to 70 years come to see matches with their families. In a country like India, the public representation of obscenity will not be tolerated,"
Swamiji aapne murder dekha..ya naye mein RACE...arre u havn't even watched the backless beauties in Ekta's family dramas..and their multiple affairs

So what say Maharashtra..the place where they forgot Indian ethics of solidarity and brotherhood..who kept mum on ethnic cleansing of outer states people ..
Latest news "Taking objection to 'scantily clad foreign girls' dances', the Maharashtra government Thursday asked the Indian Premier League (IPL) to seek prior permission for cheerleaders' performances during high-profile Twenty20 cricket matches. " no comments on that party...who just praised Jinnah in Pak and cleansed the whole gujarat of muslims....said.
"The government had done the right thing in banning the dance bars in the state. It must do the same thing in the case of cheergirls' dances which are worse in the sense they are held in the open unlike the bar dances that used to be in closed areas" lol

so wat does IPL's mastermind Sharad Pawar's party says
"Should we now start objecting to the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) volunteers' khaki shorts because they are too short to meet our sensibilities?" comments on that...

So overall India in now facing a new political crisis...I never thot those pretty girls who are dreams of every youth in this world will have to see this..but so wat..India and Cricket and Controversies..are they ever gonna be solved...
Cheerleaders...muaah ..the only thing I loved in IPL ...Isn't she hot :P??

Wateva uu say ...she is :P...
Long live IPL..long live Cricket..long live the cheerleaders ..mwaaaah

Disclaimer : The above article is for fun...any resemblance to any living or dead is purely coincidental :D

If the Morning shows the day..I must be having a beautiful day ahead :)

It is so lovely morning..the fresh air..the chirping of birds..everything is so fresh....I just came back from a walk and discovered an unheard song outta my just gave me strength to carry did the lovely friends of the bloggerville..
Last night ..I called her up..and found her in tears again...I just can't understand my's against staying together and is not letting me free to live without...m not doing good to her too and m killing me softly too .......

But the freshness of the morning is promising me a beautiful day ahead...I jus hope that it stays with it's word..will keep u abreast with my day

Sharing the song with you...the lyrics are jus lovely as the voice of the singer...Celine Dion...
I jus amaze how did I missed the song for so long....

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

I heard from sumwhere that she sang the song for her dying niece ... wat a wonderful gift...I cudn't find the song mp3 I uploaded it for you all.. ( and the imeem is making it a 30 sec u want this song jus ask me ..I will mail it to u)

The mp3 link...dedicated to all my lovely frnds in bloggerville..

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Feeling so lonely... (modified)

It's 3 : 30 AM here..and I can't sleep..this indifference of her is killing's not that for the first time I m feeling this..but everytime..I love sumone..and she gets indifferent..I don't blame her though..coz I brought this upon me ...
Cindy was there so long...she has this wonderful touch that helped me forget all those..but I dint went to sleep afta she left...and instead went to have tea..and now m having the joint in my hand..I am so sleepy ...yet can't sleep..and then this song came in my playlist...

It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
Theres nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
Its just the way that you would tied in
Now theres no-one home

I grieve for you
You leave me
so hard to move on
Still loving whats gone
They say life carries on
Carries on and on and on and on

The news that truly shocks is the empty empty page
While the final rattle rocks its empty empty cage
And I cant handle this

I grieve for you
You leave me
Let it out and move on
Missing whats gone
They say life carries on
They say life carries on and on and on

Life carries on
In the people I meet
In everyone thats out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and rats
In the rot and the rust
In the ashes and the dust
Life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on

Its just the car that we ride in
A home we reside in
The face that we hide in
The way we are tied in
And life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on

Did I dream this belief?
Or did I believe this dream?
Now I can find relief
I grieve...

But can i find relief ??..but believe me..I grieve..m no robot..I also feel the pain when m heartbroken...even wen it's not my first...


PS: thx to keshi, Anurekha mam n cindy for being with me in the rough patch..
abhi anjuli di ki daant khani bhi baaki hai :D..abhi wo mujhe itna saara dhakkan bolegi :P

Good wishes to her too..I kno it's not easy for her...and also m glad that she scored 84.7 % in her finals...

This is the video link of the song..its OST of City of Angels :)

and the mp3 link

Monday, April 21, 2008

Wedding crash..'s so hot over here...I m feeling grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..uffff...
From the morning..the power was was so fuking hot over here....jus now the power came and I don kno how much long it will stay....soI straightly come to the point...

Wedding crash..Fst of all don't thing sumbody got injured over dere or nor I m gonna talk about crashing of people's dreams after marriage...It is actually a phenomena..jiske saath hindi mein ek kahavat hai
Baigani shadi mein abdullah deewana
"Abdulla gonna crazy over other's marriage"

Rite u guessed...yesterday I attended a marriage..where I was not invited...Actually nothing was there to do and lite was going on and off I went with one of my frnds and decided to crash a wedding party....

so the event started with finding a suitable pair of dress to wear... from my infamous chair...and guess wat... I dint had any dress without any choklate aur juice stains on I asked the dhobi(washerman)...
"Saale..mere kapde kaha hai..kamine hafta bit gya..ab kya meri shadi mein layega ?"
(where are my clothes..r u gonna bring those on my marraige...?)

As usual Dhobi had that big grin ..
" Bhaiyya lawat hai..kahe ko humar par gusswa nikalat ho"
( big bro..why are u angry..I m coming with it)

So I waited for half an hour..he ironed the clothes and then brought them to me..jus wen he frnds came and say...

" Abe taiyyar ho ja..teri shadi nhi hai be itna taiyyar ho rah ahai " wid loads of abuses...
" its not ur marriage get ready soon"

so I wore those freshly ironed clothes..they were so goodness i was feeling dehydrated in those...
wen i was ready ..then suddenly a frnd came and said..." we will move out in an hour or take ur time"
I was so mad..dat he made me wear those ultra hot clothes (talking abt temperature) in summer...

After one hour or so we went to the was my frnd's frnd's marriage..and our frnd ..the contact between the groom and us..was nowhere to be we decided to skip him :D
so we went was so hard to search the place...but sumhow we managed to find it..and as soon as we entered lite went off..thank god there were generators...every one were perplexed to see us... the whole marriage leaving the groom...0 we three were the one who were wearing any u got me ..we hot a wrong was actually a poor guy's daughter's marriage ceremony..
but we decided not to leave the post ..until sumthing concrete happens...
jus wen the groom's team was approaching ..all of the bridal side had attacked the food stalls...and wen we decided to was already late as until groom arrives ..none of the food stalls opens...everything was off the
sumhow we managed to search food...and we had..the food was horrible and so were the chicks there...

but we managed to enjoy the most...everyone were amazed to see us coz none of them recognized us....then we slowly lifted off to our hostel on our that white goggs managed to get itself in two pieces...

but overall this was a wonderful crash...I loved it...

My ex gf afta all picked up the call..and said everything has a limit..and now the limit's been I shudn't be expecting her call or picking up of my calls anymore...
good luck to her..and I m happy that she is ok :)

Friday, April 18, 2008


An incredible movie that today I watched for the 19 th time.

Meet Joe Black.

A movie so romantic so lovely that I cry buckets even remembering every detail of what's gonna happen next...
Death can be so beautiful..who else can portray better than Brad Pitt..He was so handsome..there was a line in this movie..I wish I cud had said to him if I were a woman..

"There's something so indescribably sexy...about you standing in the middle of a crowd. I could make love to you right here."

The grace was equally matched by Anthony Hopkins, who played the role of father and a responsible business man. It was so enthralling when he actually fought with death on its terrain because the matter was of her daughter.

Both character were so strong ... I love the following moments best in the movie...which portrayed how both the characters were equally powerful..

When Bill (B) asked Joe (J) is managing to stay on vacation..when he is the death and he has so many responsibilities ..Joe answered..

B- how's your work going, I mean, elsewhere?

J- While you were shaving this morning, you weren't just shaving.

B- What do you mean?
J- You were hatching ideas, making plans, arriving at decisions, right?

B- Yeah, I guess so.

J- So you understand the concept. While part of you is busy doing one thing, another part of you is doing another, perhaps even attending to the problems of your work.

J- Correct?
B- Of course.

J- So you understand the idea. Congratulations, Bill.
Now multiply that by infinity, take that to the depths of forever, and you still will barely have
a glimpse of what I'm talking about..

When Death asked Bill..wat in his love for Bill's daughter he is missing.....

B -"Trust, responsibility, taking the weight for your choices and feelings...and spending the rest of your life living up to them, and above all, not hurting the object of your love."

J - "So that's love according to William Parrish?"

B -"Multiply it by infinity and take it to the depth of forever, and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I'm talking about."

J - "Those were my words."
B- "They're mine now."

The love between Susan and Joe was so romantic..He knew that
she loves him..she knew that he loves her..but she didn't knew that the guy she was so impressed actually was the Death..and he knew that she actually loves the person in him not what he does which he can't quit..
So they both said " Thank you for loving me"
As Joe was grateful to her of letting him feel wat love is... and Susan was grateful to find the person whom she can live life deliriously happy...and both were so grateful being loved...
It was so romantic

The background score, the elegancy, the costumes , the lights, the symphony, the script..everything is awesome about this movie..I just love it..

There were several moments in the movie where I actually admired how wonderful the script writers are...and the background symphony actually soothed me so well from my whole exhaustion of this hot and weary afternoon..that I am feeling relaxed than ever before

Sharing the symphony with you...I know you will love it...

Monday, April 14, 2008

Happy New Year (Shubho Naboborsho)

First of all I wish you all a very Happy new year.
In the Bengali calender, New year starts from April 14th or 15 th, which depends upon the lunar calender.

The first day is Poila Baishak.

I know many of the lunar calender of different states are also celebrating their first unveiling. So very Happy New year to you all too..and to my dear fellow bloggers who never missed any moment celebrating with me.

This day have a special significance in every Bengali's life. Today businessmen start new ventures and new account sheets, so it is the month of sale of old stocks ( Anjuli di stocks ka matlab..dukano ka stock..aapka BSE type ka nhi :P ) ...and if you had ever been in Kolkata during this time, you will find kolkatans hell busy with bargaining. The roads hell jammed, atmosphere filled hawkers shouts and so much of light.

With time it changed it's meaning in my life.

When I was kid, it was the time of excitement of getting new dresses , when I was in my early adoloscent age, it was the time of watching girls; when I was in my middle and late teenage, it was the time of buying new pairs of jeans and chance maring hotties :P ; when I was just Adult, it was the time of roaming with my gf and hiding from her and my parents.

Now, with increasing maturity, I found myself literally forgetting the day itself. lol

So let's go together with my new year day :P

The day started with a hearty Boy's talk with Samby, then I went to sleep at 4 AM. Then I woke up with a call from Sarah, she was wishing me a happy new year, but I was so sleepy then that I answered her call and slept talking to her :P. She was pissed :P

Today, as it coincided with Navratri's last day, I was on fast. So I actually slept a bit much. I woke up again when dad called me to wish me New year :P,and I looked at my clock to fing its 11 AM. So I decided, lets sleep for one more hour :P, the next time I woke up when I was having dinner with Cindy in my dreams in her wedding day, when she spilled the hot soup on me :P. I glanced my watch, it was 1:30 PM. I understood the reason of such a dream when I found an Elephant race going on my stomach :D ,heheheh..I was dead hungry then :P.

So i decided to quit my bed and went to the bathroom with my brush, then i had my bath,got ready and then went to the Mandir.
After the Puja, I decided to take some watery I had one Lassi..but was so hungry then that I ended up finishing three frootis and two cold drinks by 6 PM. lol
So much of having a fast:P
Then I went to my supervisor's place to wish him , there he told me that why are you on fast is Poila should be gorging today :D
So, I decided top break my fast in the night, so I went to Ming's garden , a restuarant famous for its chinese.

In Ming, waiter came up with menu..and there was nothing I can order that I can eat alone...So I decided to taek a mini meal there. It was the worst meal I ever had. It was full of cabbages :P..I tried searching for the noodles but couldn't find any :P., but the sizzling brownie was awesome :)
There was this hottie chick, who was sitting alone in the adjacent table. So my time in the restuatrant passed by smoothly :P upto the end when I broke into a quarrel with the manager who refused to give me our college discount as the bill was already out. :| But I managed myself not hitting the poor guy for Rs. 20 of the discount :P, then also people call me impatient. huh :|.

I returned back , and found that my light is gone again for the seventh time. It came just an hour ago..:)

So it was a wonderful day :P and the best part was the hot chick..she was really hot. :P

I started a new plz all of you must answer it ....
Love you all

Monday, April 07, 2008

A reason to live for...

He was in his start of Bachelor's and she was in end of master's...Everytime he wanted to tell her about his feeling..he just couldn't muster the courage to tell her...
She was kinnda hottie in the college..starting from the freshers to college caps all had secret desires for her..he always thought..wat's new in me..may be she knew me form my childhood days..but she may had known many...she was so proud of her beauty that actually she never cared for any of the feelings towards her..he understood this coz he knew if she started caring she actually will have a whole yellow book to care about...No he had her moments wid her..when he was assigned to volunteer as security for the college fest..and she said hiii to was the word which echoed still in his mind...

He shrugged and smiled. He was wondering why the sudden thought of her. He smiled again remembering he do this quite often.

He was all ready for the long years had passed since..he was now among the topmost independent web developers ..and he had go this offer letter for the topmost company in web developing...he checked his bag..everything was ready..he is ready to fire up....

"hello! Vishal!"

"Hello mam!"

He couldn't believe that actually it was her the HR Manager in front of him..

he was feeling weak in his was too much for him to handle...she hadn't changed a bit..she was the same...same smile..same fragrance around her...

"God! you haven't changed your perfume too.."

"Excuse me" she was not able to make out anything of his mumble...
"Nothing mam! Actually I am feeling a little nervous."
" Do I know you from before?"
"Oh God!! she actually remembers me..." , he thought.
"Yes Mam! We were in same society and we were in same college too"
" Is this You? Vishu...? Oh my God! u changed a lot..who can say that it's the same frail cute boy..u have actually grown up to a hunk ..u kno dat?? "
" Yes." " Oh! I mean no!" " May be"....He was not at all prepared for this interview.

" You are just perfect for here!" she was checking his credential.

" what are you looking at?" wen she caught him staring her..
" Nothing! I am sorry..actually I was not..but m sorry" his words got muffled as She caught him the moment he raised her eyes from her fingers on tables to her face...actually she caught him the exact second when his eyes were on her cleavage while moving up from her fingers to her face..
"You boys! you people never changed...still the same as you were in college" she laughed..
" I am sorry." he got that point that he cant explain it to her and moreover her laughter was more captivating than her whole persona.

" You are selected!" " But that doesn't mean that I approved you of checking me up." she gave a nice grin.
" I am sorry! Oh! I meant thank you"
"Thank you for wat?" she asked it a little loud.
" No!I meant..I am not thank you" "I meant for the job." He was actually dying of embarrassment of getting caught in wrong action. He wanted to get off the chair and kill himself.

" Oh! sit..we havn't discussed your work " "So, where in town?"
"Actually! I was not very sure of the didn't thought about it"
"I will arrange for you company house for now..till you get a nice place." "What are you doing tonight?" "Dinner??"

Wat's that..did she said dinner..Is he actually going for a date wid the lady of his dreams..

"I have a lot to catch up with you."she asked, " Vishu! You Ok?"

"Yeah! Dinner is good...I will pay. I insist"
"Who told you that I was gonna pay?" " You got the job! it's your treat time" She started laughing
" Yeah! It was meant that only". He was again caught off guard! He wanted to kill himself for saying about paying and all....

6 years had passed since then. He was standing at Flower shop. Thoughts started flying over again in his head.

" Vishu! Movie today?." "Best hall in town!" she smiled. "Pick me up at seven. Will you?"
"Yeah Shalini! Sure". He smiled.

Six months had passed since his joining and it was their 5 th official date, though they had several luncheons.

He went to her home. She opened the door.. she was not ready yet. "Is she not well! May be she dropped the movie plan" thoughts started flying but was abruptly stopped by the sound followed by her shriek "Oh God! my popcorns!"
"Wat's in her house." He never entered her house..he used to pick her up from doors only, and mostly she used to pick him up from his apartment, as he hadn't had his car until last week.

"Godfather" " you told me it's your fav"

"But I think we had to fetch up the popkorn first". He laughed as he looked at the kitchen floor.
"Yeah! it is a mess! jus like me" she looked at her disheveled hairs.
"No! you are looking beautiful!. He smiled, removing the hairs from her face.
"Don't you dare flirt with me." she smiled back.

Movie started. She snuggled up to him and took a snap of them wid her camera. "I just don't want to miss the moment. ", she smiled and he caressed her hairs falling on her face.

An hour past she was cuddled up in his arms and actually got asleep. He couldn't believe that he was actually watching the movie for last one hour and didn't noticed that she had fallen asleep in his arms. He slowly went for the remote and switched it off. He didn't wanted her to get awake by gunshots of the movie he had watched a thousand time.
She was looking so beautiful asleep in his arms. Minutes later she opened her eyes and found him looking her face. " I told you. You don't have permission to stare" she smiled.

No! Actually! you were looking so be.." His words muffled as he found her lips on his. They kissed. Every minute was like an eternity to him. They cuddled up. She removed his shirt and put his hands on her.

"wat's dat? r u a virgin?" she was laughing heartily when he removed his hand from her.

"No!" He screamed, then a moment later " Yeah! I am.. ". He was caught again off guard.
"Oh! that's sweet." she kissed him again, only knowing that she had to take the lead then.
They made love. She couldn't believe that he was actually asking her then, " Is it paining?" she was smiling thinking about the wonderful moment after so long in her alone life.

" Who is that?? " he looked at the photo frame and asked surprisingly.
"My husband! He died three months of our marriage 3 years back!" "He was returning and got in a hit and run case in Florida." she couldn't believe that she was crying, it was so long. He was his love for 2 years before they got married against his and her families wishes.

He held her in his arms and kissed her on her forehead.After a moment of silence
"I am sorry!" " I was drunk that day". " I didn't saw him until he was hit. I was so drunk and afraid"

"Get out!" "Get out Vishal." " I don't want to see you anymore"

He slowly got up and moved out. He moved out her life the very next morning.He wrote her a one liner and he dropped at her doorsteps and moved out...

"I am sorry! I love you and will miss you"

It started raining! The monsoon had just hit the city. He paid for the flowers. He got the letter three days back from a lawyer. He opened for checking the address. His eyes filled up wid tears as he caught the line.

" Shalini Verma died of cancer last week and her Will make you a trustee for the the property she left behind. "

He folded back the letter, called for the cab.

"Saint Patrick School."

An hour later. He was sitting in the Principals office.

"Sir! She is Vinni Verma"

He looked back towards the door. A little girl was standing there. She was a little doll with same hairs and same eyes. He went to her and hugged her and handed her the flowers.

" Mommy told me to give it to my daddy when he will come to take me home "

" How do you know me sweetheart? "

She handed him the envelope. It had the same photograph, that they had taken on that night, wid a line written on it's back, "Mommy loves you baby! " .

A note fell from the envelope. He picked it up and opened and found his own handwriting in it..

"I am sorry! I love you and will miss you"
with an added note..
"You could had waited! You snatched my love twice. Just take care of my last love. She misses you just like I missed you"

He held her up in his arms. He found his love back once again in his life and a reason to live for..

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Ahh!! It's hell.. wen u can't say anything at all...

I should have seen it coming when roses died
Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes
I should have listened when you said good night
You really meant good bye
Baby, ain’t it funny, how you never ever learn to fall
You’re really on your knees, when you think you’re standing tall
But only fools are know-it-alls and I played that fool for you

I cried and I cried
There were nights that I died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy, baby
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain’t that long
Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong,
This ain’t a love song.
.........................- Jon Bon Jovi

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

My Confession

So I have got wat i deserved ..loneliness

so this is wat I did to her......

I started the whole relationship wid her by faking my love for her ... dat I found her a tough to get and I used up all my tricks to get her love me...jus to win her..

but wen she started loving me...everything changed..i fell for her..i started loving her like morning never started if she dint call..I loved her like anything...I grew up a wall around me so that she gets protected from the real me and I can bury my real self..
she promised me to leave her family for me too..

but den one day .. day which was very special for me..she succumbed to her family pressure about deleting me outta her life..and she told me..i cant be wid u anemore..
she was silent for two days..den she started the courtesy calls..and den she too realised dat it was hard for her to leave me...

but these days of love silence had broken those wall..I started feeling insecure about her..I was going to take a vital decision and I found myself unsure dat if I proceed further in this ..may be one day wen i will be in no point of return..she might succumbed to her family again..and I wud be left real me started kicking out..telling me everytime dat i faked the start wid day she will kno and she will leave me's better to take her out ur all those violent urges returned back..i started getting afraid of the term love and my real me started to make this love dissapear..I needed to tell her the truth..becoz she was such a nice girl..she dint deserved to be dumped I dumped many and got dumped due to I needed to put my real self to her..dat the whole relation was based on lies..
So I told her all that....

she then asked me
"how cud u do dis to me.."?

she was right..and I dint had any answer..I told her dat i dont know..I never took rejection well..
and she said.." but I loved u "
and I found myself staring at the horrible picture dat she had in her eyes..

I am shit a gross piece of shit....
but cant do it anemore..I jus felt at that moment how important she was for me...and how badly I want her back in my life..but I know things wont never be the same again. so I cried I cried and I cried and i decided and asked her to go out of my life so that she never gets anething worser than dis..
I left her...and i left my soul wid I feel myself jus like a fucking moron...but i feel confortable to let out the truth..may be dis is my remorse ..may be this will be my salvation.. to let u all ugly one can be and how good one can pretend to be...I so messed up rite now..

Curse me ...abuse me..

But believe me she was an innocent victim of my real ugly monster..whom I just want to finish forever...
She is an angel and really don't deserve a monster like it's better I stay away for now or may be forever...

This is my probably my last post....and I wanted to clear one thing that..wat I did to her is unforgivable and she was and she is... jus perfect....

love n luck to u all....

Want a review ????

Blog Advertising - Advertise on blogs with


Related Posts with Thumbnails