Monday, March 31, 2008
"It happens with everyone buddy..."
" Wait! The bad time will pass"
" Don't loose hope"
" I am there with u"
" baby! u can share with me "
It's not like that that I don't care for these .... I know everyone who cares will have the same answer....but I know myself..that I earned their care jus by faking myself...I am not that goody boy...I am not the sholder to cry on...I was always a misfit in the human society ..a creepy fellow ..who can really chill ur bones...I pretended so well that I was the good boy in everyones opinion..
I thought wats wrong in it..I am not doing dem any harm..so I pretended it so well that i forgot my real self...
I fell in love with her..and I thot may be my real self will never return...but after the shortest most break of jus 2 days phone silence and 4 days "I love u " silence..my real self came out...and I found myself agian standing on that verge of no return...
How much I tried to reassure myself that " No..this real is actually a virtual" .. I was dragged more towards my reality...
On the day of my 26th year ..I talked wid sumone..whom I got close in jus days..not because she is wonderful..but somehow I can feel me in her identity.....and I saw my image for the fst time in her words...it was really ugly...it was really ugly...she herself wanted to slap me but thanks to dhirubhai Ambani..ab poori duniya meri muthhi mein hai :D ... lol .. we were talking on fone...but she is a real sweetheart...so I kno she won't be telling me any lies....
Then I realised....no Sourish..noone in the world deserves to get such a nasty me in their life..so fst thing I wanted to do was breaking up with her..but its getting difficult ..I started really caring for her...but den also I kno myself dat wont be too long..so today wen I was talking to her and she said " tell me so that I get prepared for the worse " as she already anticipated my next move..but I am not ready to leave her right now...but I kno me she won't stay long enough..but she don't deserve to have that fate...may be it will be better if she go away...may be I will cry and bring her back..but eventually I have this feeling that..I will leave her...I asked for her time to sort out myself but I know it was inborn and it will remain in me as a scar as a sore forever and ever...
I am sick....
God only know the truth....
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
And I sincerely believe that no one will read it..coz I don think any body has dat interest in my life to get through some thing so long :P but I kno Cindy will read it...afterall I read her and she tagged me..it's her moral responsibility :P ..lol
Ok! Pretty lady here it goes for u!
A - A for Apple...right now nothing is coming into my mind dan the rhyme A for Apple..So let's c wat this Apple means in my life...I am sure that I am apple of My mom dad's eye as they have sacrificed apple out of their fruit menu for my welfare as per some hindu ritual and every time I see da apple I feel so bad dat i don like to eat it to.....
I jus remembered wat my girlfrnd said about me..."U r Arrogant"..I have this problem of mood swing ..ok ..happen more regularly dan the regulars..and den most of the people find me Arrogant..but believe me I have been complimented with other good words too :P
B - B for Biotechnology - This is the word which always inspired me and I sincerely believe that this will shape up my future too..After all I completed B.Tech & M.Tech and doing Ph.D in it :P
C - C for Cute - The one compliment I was always given by the girls that I am cute.. I think by now u have got in that in ur brains dat m not actually a hunk...okay ..my girlfrnd has a different opinion..she said " U look like a gunda " lol.
D - D for Dominating - This was a recent trait that I learned about me ..of course by her dat I am too much dominating and I don't value her ideas and thinkings at all..Lol Since it is recently learned i need time to retrospect to further elaborate..
E - E for Elegant - I always believe in elegancy, I don like anything dat doesnt fall into the category for elegant..right from table manners to dressing sense
F- F for Friendly - I have hell lot of friends and only one thing that I lack is the term Best frnd.. I was niether able to be someone's nor anybody lasted that long in my life to by mine..yet I m always amidst a bunch of people solving problems dats wat a true frnd do..isnt it..
G- G for Girl - Ohh God I have a fascination about girls..They are the god's made best creation only the god was too busy carving dem that he forgot to put brains in dem..so dey actually cant see my insight andnever stayed long enough in my life and recently two tried to kill me :P
H- Homebug - I can be in my room for longs as days without interacting with any of the outer world.. I love my room and it is my home in where I take refuge wenever I m too much exausted to fight the hippocracy of the world..
I- I for intillegent - look dis is not me saying actually people say that to me..U r da best ...lol
Actually the term is Immodest :P She told me so many times that I lack modesty..Nowadays I really believe dat I lack Modesty :P.. U can just see in the same para if u want to get the proof.
J- Jerk :P - Dis is another term I get from little girls in orkut who even cant pull up their skool skirt properly..and yet freely flirt in orkut communities and most of the time I hit on dem and end up explaining why we shouldn't flirt as they always tell me in the end that they are underage..and they finish the conversation with " u kno u r a jerk " lol..dis amuses me very much :P...lol
K- K for Kind - I jus don kno I nver can see any little kids in need... and end up spending a lot on them..last night I was outside for dinner and a boy may be 7 or 8 yr old came to bike and started wiping..and said " Bhaiyya 1 rupaye do na bhook lagi hai " and I just cant get it wat he will do with one rupee which cant buy anything but centerfresh ..so I said "kuchh khana hai?" and he just nodded..there was so much innocence in his eyes dat I paid for his dinner too in the nearby hotel..where he just ate and without saying anything to me he just ran away after eating..fst I thot dat was unthankful..den I realised may be he dont understand wat thank u really is...he was jus a kid who was so hungry dat he begged for getting the food in front of a restaurant where everyone was eating and he was wondering about the taste but I was so disheartened by the cruel fact of the society that a lil kid like him also kno dat money is everything and no one will give him anything if he ask anything more than one rupee..and believe me we the people with means can give big tips in restuarants to fellows who jus do their job to serve us but dont spare a rupee to a helpless hungry boy..
L - L for Love- Love is the beautiful feeling dat most of the time finds me and den get bored and run away..but everytime wen it comes I welcome it wid open hands...coz it's really beautiful.
M- M for Music- I got nearly all labels that I regard as good stuffs and recently it crossed 10000 song's mark. I got a 5.1 ..5800 watts surround speakers in my room and thus get a notice very often from warden for killing dere sleeps... :P
N - N for Nostalgic- I most of the time get lost in my thoughts of old good days..which starts from good moments of yesterday to my knicker days.. :P
O- O for Optimistic- I m normally quite optimistic about everything right from her parents accepting me to be a millionaire if not a billionaire :P
P- P for Parents - they are the best thing that I have in my life and I can do anything for dem..they never refused any of my foolish demands ..never disheartened me even wen I was the culprit..they are just the best.. :P
R- R for Relevance - I just dont believe in absurd thoughts..if anything doesnt have relevance in my life it jus get to be behind the door I slam on dem :P
S- Sarah ...My girlfrnd..she hates my all traits so much.. yet I always found her loving me more and more with every time that passes...
T - T for trusting - I normally trust each and everyone even when I kno dey can be the backstabbers and most of the time get caught thus in crossfires.
U - U for understanding - Though I believe to be one but most of my previous relations left me for the lack of it.. yet see I understand dat y dey left me...den also dey say i don understand dem.. Irony of life :P
W- Workaholic - .. I am kindda workaholic but normally work wen I have to work likewen the deadlines are near..den u don have any other option left oder than adding workaholic as ur character in ur professional life....lol self contradictory..isn't it ?? :P
X- X for X - I have a huge collection of X..XX..XXX and few of 7X too..lol
X is a word which always haunts me as I am eX of many and I had so many eX ..yet I nvr found da reason why so many X circulate in my life.
Y- youthfulness - I normally hang out with my juniors coz dey are full of life and I don want to be included in the league of matured and boring and unhappening fellows :D...
Z -Zeal - If I target something I just get it and most of the time it's the zeal that get me thru the impossibles...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
On 14 th dats da 'D' Day ..I saw ki I was not alone in that league..nobody knew how to wear it coz surprisingly it was every one's first :P.. fir jaise taise i managed to wear that with the help of our convener of Academic Council :P... I liked the cap the most..coz of a horse tail which was hanging from the top..which I was playing with all the time :P So time of the convo came..I met with most of the B.Tech gang dat went out last year...and dey literally screamed out..for which I had a 'khaao daant' session from the teachers :P
My name was in middle..and soon everyone's enthu was down..no one was clapping from other than their department.. Jus before wen my name was called.. on the way to the stairs I slipped on marble floor..but managed to not to go on all fours :P..luckily no one noticed too :P..
Den my name was called..
Oh my god!!!
Whole of the hall was in claps...I realized I nearly knew everyone and every one knew me..and dose who dint knew me where clapping because every one else was clapping :P..the hall was in thunders :P ...every teacher were amazed about the happening.. I adjusted my cloak..and got up on the stage ..and hall got literally filled with whistling and screaming..I myself dint anticipated dis much enthusiasm from near sleeping decent graduands..so I acknowledged every one by bowing to dem fst..den shook hands with chairman of the council and received the degree..
I posed for the photographer :P...oops 6 photographers ..coz I actually thot if some one forget to take mine.. the other may take..and ended up telling 6 of them.. who all took my foto...which is gonna cost me 200 each for the same pose :P ..
To my surprise hall dint stopped clapping still..so I blew dem a flying kiss :P and the whole floor was on screams and shouts and laughs...whole of the academic council got thawed on the act...but who cares..it was my convocation day :P :P :P
After it ended ...whole of the academic council was talking about the flying kiss rather dan the event.. :D I met with director for the photo session and he said.. " u r quite a celebrity here I dint knew dat before. I never saw so many clappings for any single guy and wat was dat on the end. " I just grinned :D... I wanted a foto with the Director and Dean..which ended up in nearly in a group photograph with all the academic council joining us and for that i was thrown at the end :P.. suddenly one of the academic council member who was not satisfied with the pose for the fst foto made us stand again for the fotograph :P..It was a hilarious session :P
Dean was very proud and said..." tum toh hero ban gye " :D
And today..Institute of Technology had the topic with different version about the flying kiss coz ..one has to be decently calm receiving the degree :P even profs are also calling me and telling me.. about how smart i was and how foolish the kiss was but every one said "We enjoyed it.." :-)
And so I am happy :P and very very happy :P
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Mujhe yaad hai wo bachpan ki baarish
Mujhe yaad hai wo bachpan ki baarish
Sunday, March 09, 2008
fierce and powered were the howls,
breaching the silence of the night
pouring in the heart a shriek, a fright.
Whoosh! a streak passed through the sky
the power gone within a while.
Siren blared across the night
the god's wrath was falling with a might.
The white light banged the ears
no body slept amidst the fear,
The sky was all lit up like a bride
This was the end of the Satan's pride.
Boooom! was the sound nearby
God's arrow has fallen from the sky,
the silence turned in scream and shout
the light disapeared before it sprout.
The morning sun was hiding behind the clouds
the clouds of smoke, the clouds of shouts,
the whole kingdom was in grief
they called it, "we destroyed it within a brief".
Here and there were the Iron pieces,
Here adn there were parts the body misses.
The long awaited freedom has arrived,
This was the end of the Satan's pride.
Three day and three nights
streaking and shouting was the lights
Every soul was praying closing the eyes
but were somehow happy to see the end of the pride.
The next days were silent,
agony was everywhere evident.
no more light across the sky
This was the end of the Satan's pride.
God was marching across the city,
helped every one with a soul and pity.
He was saying, " God is really big n might"
"He ended the long dreaded Satan's pride.
One month one quarter one years had passed,
The god's force with weapons still marched.
They were treating everyone now as foes,
keeping everyone in their toes.
A man shouted, " No they are not the God's force."
" They came here for the liquid gold."
The words went silent yet felt by all,
The holy city was turned in a mall.
" No they are not God! they are the next Satan's might "
"They came there to steal our Pride."
The words got lost in a shout of pain.
He was shot straight splattering his brain.
The day of the freedom was now locked
every street was barbed and shocked.
The holy city was fully looted,
the liquid gold was started to get diluted.
A sound blared, " The time of our sleep has gone"
"the time to die and protest has come".
"we'd have to save the city."
"We don't need anyone's pity."
The deads rose back with a cry,
Once again the war is in the sky.
they are striking now the next might,
to see the real end of the Satan's pride.