Wednesday, June 07, 2006

When I started this blog I've never thought that I would be placing any lyrics of any song, but sum how I felt that this is what she thinks. If u read my blog carefully u'll find out who the gal is, I' m talking about.This is what I felt in my short tenure of conversation with her. She is never interested in continuing her life after the tragedy of her life. I respect her feelings and pray to the god that she finds the courage to start over again.
Life is for rent
I haven't really ever found a place
that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again
I'm not in love

But it's not as if I mind

that your heart ain't exactly breaking


It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent
and I don't lean to buy
Well I deserve
nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
I've always thought
that I would
love to live by the sea

To travel the world alone
and live my life more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent
and I don't learn to buy

Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
While my heart is a shield
and I won't let it down

While I am so afraid to fail
so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive
If my life is for rent...

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Do i love her??

Well ! what can i say about her...

The smile,the ingenousness and innocence brimming from the face, simply kills me.
I can sense some cosmic connection...... They say that when u want something very sincerely, and u dream abt something very badly. day in and day out, the soul of this world, will conspire to make ur dreams come true. Hoping for such a miracle!

But does'nt seem realistic. She's too far away, too rich, too intelligent, too beautiful, too busy and simply, too chimerical for me.
But like ever optimistic indians(who believe India can win a match even when it needs 20 runs off the last ball, with anil kumble on strike)...... I'll continue to dream.

After all Theodore Rossevelt has said........
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams".

Well what do you say do i love her?????

Abhishek khanna

Confession board

Today for the first time I got to kno, how much i love her....yaar am getting dead possesive about her.....and I don kno what will happen.......Like everyone she will be scared of mine possessiveness. I scolded her like nothing today, even knowing ki nothing happened in real. God! I felt her crying, with every word she said, I found her penetrating me more deeper. I know I m I will take up the punishment.....but I can't get why she is giving me none....instead she is loving me more. I kno there is no end of my craziness, I don kno wat will happen but one thing is for sure....
I love u
This time I will not break her up.....I m praying to the god that please help me.I wanna live wid her forever.Please god help me..........
I love u sweetheart...........Plz never leave me...............if u leave...........I will kill u and hang myself up....U will reach in heaven for sure.............But I will never see u again.....I promise ..............coz I will go to hell for killing and commiting suicide........And I will live there for eternity.....
I m sorry
So never think dat we will unite there....If the world gets crazy on our relationship....I promise I will fight till death..........But if u leave me in fear or for my happiness.........I promise you will not see me ever again...........I love U sweetheart . I'm crazy about you

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Mere Pass Laut Aana

Jab Yaad Meri Aaye To Rukna Mat,
Mere Paas Laut Aana !!
Jab Raat Ka Diya Bhuj Jaye,
Or Kuch Saaf Nazer Na Aye...
To Derna Mat, Mere Paas Laut Aana !!
Jab Bin Badal Barsat Ho Jaye,
Or Tumhien Raah Na Mil Paye,
To Udaas Mat Hona... Mere Paas Laut Aana !!
Jab sanson Ki Doori Toote,
Or Koi apna Tumhien Lotey,
To Mayyoos Mat Hona... Mere Paas Laut Aana !!
Jab Dil Tumhara Toote,
Or Kisi Ka Sath Tum Se Chote,
To Aanso Mat Bahana... Mere Paas Laut Aana !!
Apni Khushi Se Chor Ke Gayi Ho Tum...
Mere Jazbat,Pyar,Aitbar Ko Tor Ke Gayi Ho Tum...
Phir Bhi Meri Yaad Agar Aaye,
Or Aankhien Tumhari Bher Ayein,
To Shermindah Mat Hona... Mere Paas Laut Aana !!
Bas Itna Kehna Chahta Hoon,
Ke Hamesha Intizar Karoonga...
Is Kayenat Se Ziada Pyar Keronga !!
Magar Jab Tumhien Meri Yaad Aaye,
To Rukna Mat... Mere Paas Laut Aana
love u
Wid love from Sujoy and Sourish

When I woke up today

I don't know, what happened to me, whenever I used to sleep before, I always woke up at 11 o' clock, But last few days, I m waking up at 7 am , inspite of of when I slept.
Oh! god!
Last few days I never slept.
These days were full of turmoils, I lost a good friend, found a true love, smoked a lot, drank a lot and the list goes on.
But today, I will not do it again.
I don't kno what happened.....
But I think, My life has got changed
I am bursting in giggles!
I pledge it everyday
I don't kno wat more I had to say
But I think .....really my life is in turmoils

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Her sweetest question Y?

This is truly dedicated to u my sweet heart
I love u
Whenver u ask me y I love
U make me smile.
Whenever u ask why I care,
U make it more divine.
I love u
Whenever u ask me to leave,
I feel like u r in my arms.
Whenever u don't say anything,
I feel u r full in my warmth.
I love u
Whenever u say u love me,
U make me feel shy.
Whenever u say u miss me,
U make me feel like floating in sky.
I love u
Whenever u scold me wid a sigh,
U make me feel like cry.
Whenever u say u love me,
U make me search u nearby.
I love u
Whenever u say Idiot with dat blushing smile,
U make me feel like time's gettin frozen.
Whenever u say u need me closer,
U make me feel like I m in heaven.
I love u
I don't have the answer
why I love u?
I don't have the answer
Why I care for u?
i love u
But only thing I don't need to feel,
Is that, I need u.
and whenever u ask me this y,
I always feel like saying, I love u.
I love u
From Sourish To Ambz wid lots of love

The persons whom I don't know and who created a gap in my life

I chose blue for writing my emotions, because the blue is the colour i feel when am missing sumone
The list starts with a beautiful creature named
Missing U
Kunal- A nice boy!
Missing u
WE never met, even he used to live in the adjacent hostel to mine. I loved this kid who was much younger than me,yet he was the most sweet boy to talk with, I spent hours wid him in our chat messenger and gtalk. I don't know what drifted him apart from me, and I really helped him more to drift apart, even knowing that I will miss him forever.
He knew all my secrets and I knew all his, but like always he got addicted to me and needed a break and I gave him one. But for him my promise still holds, whenever he needs me , I will be always dere for him.
Missing U
Aditi/ Shaista/ Sweety - Sweety I should better call her by dat name-My cutest immature but pretending matured friend.
Missing U
My first orkut and den my messenger friend, always fresh to talk wid, full of spirits. For the first time I got addicted to anybody, and den again she needed a break from my posseviness. So I gave her one.She was the one , for whom I watched a 2 hours movie in 7 hours, completed my a single page contents page of my report in one entire day, and for the first time I got the meaning of what friendship means. She was jus a cute part of my life, when a misunderstanding drifted her apart from me, and this time too I was the one who helped her to drift apart from me. Thanks to my short temper. She always coped up with it with a renewed freshness, but this time it is too late, may be the extent of our misunderstanding is too big for her to cope up wid. I m feeling to beg on my knees to get her back in my life. She thinks that I love her. May be she is right to say the word, but she is not at all right in interpreting what that means. I never thought of her more than a friend, ya may be more than the other friends. But she again like others dumped me out, but I m the real culprit, because somehow I felt I could have stopped her from drifting apart, I know she was not going apart, somehow I felt that she needed me in her emotional hours, but I became more demanding and increased her emotional stresses forcing her to dump me out. I really feel like hating myself for writing those shits to her. But again my short temper increased my schizophrenia.
Ya, I m sick, I live in dual world of character split, where my bad part always destroyed my life, my circle , my friends and my real self get to know it, late, when it's all over. This is the real shit of my life which I always wanted to tell her, but didn't had the strength to face the truth myself, let alone telling her, that's why I always begged her to give me her complete attention, so that my other part don't come up.
Feeling real Blue without her.How far I m desperate to get my friend back, I don't know but I think her happiness is more to me than my needs from her. I pray to the god that she get her lost love back, so that if ever I get her back in my life, I find her full of happiness, so full that the happiness itself comes out from her in my life. The only pain I am feeling now is that I was not able to bid her a goodbye.Everytime I open my messenger I miss her buzz and her offline messages. But I have faith in time, because I know one day either the time will get my friend back or time will heal this loss.
Missing u
Hope that list grows long soon, so that my lost friends found new companies

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