Monday, March 31, 2008

Some wild dogs really need to be shot down

Last few be for last few months...I was thinking that may be I am creepy..I have a dark side and I had pretended to be normal so well..that many of u will jus say this like...

"It happens with everyone buddy..."
" Wait! The bad time will pass"
" Don't loose hope"
" I am there with u"
" baby! u can share with me "

It's not like that that I don't care for these .... I know everyone who cares will have the same answer....but I know myself..that I earned their care jus by faking myself...I am not that goody boy...I am not the sholder to cry on...I was always a misfit in the human society ..a creepy fellow ..who can really chill ur bones...I pretended so well that I was the good boy in everyones opinion..
I thought wats wrong in it..I am not doing dem any I pretended it so well that i forgot my real self...

I fell in love with her..and I thot may be my real self will never return...but after the shortest most break of jus 2 days phone silence and 4 days "I love u " real self came out...and I found myself agian standing on that verge of no return...
How much I tried to reassure myself that " No..this real is actually a virtual" .. I was dragged more towards my reality...

On the day of my 26th year ..I talked wid sumone..whom I got close in jus days..not because she is wonderful..but somehow I can feel me in her identity.....and I saw my image for the fst time in her was really was really ugly...she herself wanted to slap me but thanks to dhirubhai Ambani..ab poori duniya meri muthhi mein hai :D ... lol .. we were talking on fone...but she is a real I kno she won't be telling me any lies....

Then I Sourish..noone in the world deserves to get such a nasty me in their fst thing I wanted to do was breaking up with her..but its getting difficult ..I started really caring for her...but den also I kno myself dat wont be too today wen I was talking to her and she said " tell me so that I get prepared for the worse " as she already anticipated my next move..but I am not ready to leave her right now...but I kno me she won't stay long enough..but she don't deserve to have that fate...may be it will be better if she go away...may be I will cry and bring her back..but eventually I have this feeling that..I will leave her...I asked for her time to sort out myself but I know it was inborn and it will remain in me as a scar as a sore forever and ever...

I am sick....
God only know the truth....


  1. bhai... i duuno.. i may not be mature enuf to answer this but.. serioulsy.. why cant u open up to her.. tell her what u aare in reality... and dnt decide fr ur selfe that she wnt like it... leave that upon her to decide... u get my point??

    all the best...

  2. haha..did u know about uptans before.. lolz..i heard about them for the first time.. never heard of them before...

  3. to ur fst comment...I wanted to tell her today..but dint gathered dat much courage..I asked for her time..I dont know if she is ready to hear...

    and ur next comment
    uptans are jus facial pack hindi..and thanks to my sister..I kno more about these stuffs dan any one else..coz i was her guinea pig..for all types of facial experimentations ..
    and moreover Malyalis food habits of having Teekha foods and all those mighty combinations of milk and citrus and imlis and oil..they have this oily skin and prone for pimples they have this more regularly.......

  4. bro i am just trying to show my passion for the fauj... trying to show waht i feel that i can servre my netion best in this way... there is no use prootecting a antion jise me kuch nahi.. so civilians are necessary..

    that post is just to tell ppl who outrightly dismiss army n think nothing bout it ki kya hai fauj... its much more than that.. its not dying.. its readyness to die with a smile on ur face... i have replied to ur comment on my blog as well check it out..

    as for drdo... best of luck.. i have a few seniors there as well 2 two be precise..n well the pays just been increasd so be happy...:).... i dnt think u wil be doing sumthing cutting edge for ht first 5 years... but i hope u can change the drdo faliure rate.... for the better....

    cheerz buddy...

    N do tell her n let her decide for herslef... its her life its her decision to stay with u or not... u dnt have any right to decide for her... unless ofcurse u urslef want to be away..which i dnt think u do....

  5. i am a third year cs student.. rejceted nda candidate.. slelceted ima candiate..:)

  6. About force..i said it runs in my blood..
    so I kno wat it means to them coz i grew up among dem.... :)

    and abt that..i need more time to decide :)

  7. @ i understand when u say u need time... for a simple i like u i tok 5 years... n ur problem is certainly bigger than that from what i can make out.. all i can say is hope for the best... and even if best does not happens... move on.. enduring spirit...

  8. Samby is right, its her choice, you got to put the facts in front of her and let her decide. And who knows, she might even be able to help you become who/what you want to once she knows the "real" you? Bol nahi sakte to likh ke de do?

  9. The only way out is by being true to her re. Jo hai jaisa hai, waisa hi bata dena...fir jo hoga dekha jayega..

    You're hurting yourself as well as her by this..arent you ?

    Take care.

    p.s : I guess keshi ke game mein inne dileri se khelne ke baad you must be better now ! LOL !!!

  10. lolz Cinderella hahahaha!

    **but eventually I have this feeling that..I will leave her

    Sourish leave her..come be with me.


  11. samby
    thanks yaar u really ignited the spent over fuel in m :D

  12. masi ji

    likh k doo ya bol k doo..baat toh wohi hai..eventually wohi saare facts discuss honge and fir saare cheeze laut aayengi...
    thoda time do
    dekho kya hota hai

  13. cindy...

    yaar hurt hona toh mera life ka integral part hai..but I dont want to make her feel hurt..which I kno she

    pata nhi samjh nhi aa rha hai main kya karooo .

    PS: keshi ka game ..wo kehte hai na army training se andar ka jaanwar bahar aa jata hai..keshi ka game bhi waise hi kuchh tha :D

  14. keshi
    u r indeed a sweetheart :)
    that was sachhii a uniqueeeeeee comment....
    u r jus great...
    now i can really boast about...

    "seven seas far away in one kingdom a princess is waiting for me..."

    main aa rha hoon

    **bahadur mera row boat nikalo..australia jana hai**

    love n luck

  15. hey hot 'Job' seeker ;-)

    *Keshi bats her eyelashes*


    **"seven seas far away in one kingdom a princess is waiting for me..."

    awww how sweet.

    I didnt get the Hindi bit but I think ur rowing a boat to Aus? LOL HUGZ watch out for the sharks..we hv alot of em here. :)


  16. Awww sharks :O

    I am not afraid of dem B-)..
    I got my butter knife wid will slice the shark jus like it slices my butter B-)

    Princess of far kingdom..
    m coming for u...

    btw how can I row the boat to compass only points to the north :-s
    Y dont u come here...ur compass will point to the north and its north where m I :P

  17. tell the truth.. be the man i can be proud of.

  18. You sound like one of my old schoolmates. He was always afraid that his real self would never allow anyone to stick to him.But who doesn't have a bad side. Those who say are lairs. Evry one has an angel and devil in them, it just a matter what dominates.

    Cheer up

  19. ever hopeful :)
    thanks for understanding it...
    I used to think dat my good self dominates..but nowadays..its da reverse..
    my urge for the bad deeds is getting stronger......
    I jus need time ........may be she will understand..but ultimately wat if the bad self returns...morever if I tell her the reason of my love..she wont stay aneways..

  20. @ sourish
    bhai... i have tried blogging bout it in my new post..maybe u can see it for ur self..:).

    . and i am glad u have taken my comment into consideration.. reffering to the commetn i made on this post...

    cheerz... best of luck

  21. Comment toh taken ..but lost her m feeling like shit ....
    it pains ..........

  22. @ pains... and then it will all go awy.... wnt pain forever for all i know....

  23. Life is a bitch smetimes. i guess my philosophy or cool words dnt work here..

    but I m really glad.. u did tell her the truth.

    lov does a lot of funny things to people.

    I will Leave my philosophical comment for another day... I just want to be there for yu. I dnt knw what i can do though.

  24. Pareshaan mat ho, u can't defy yourself...

    God bless...

  25. veens

    m so fucking shit rite now..
    I confessed..and she jus asked
    how cud u do dis to me

    I was jus I wanted to tell...but cudnt picked up a single word...
    I made it hell for her...

    thanks yaaar..but u really need to go away from me..i am cursed..jus save urself

  26. di

    its jus ugly to see urself in sumbody's eyes whom u care the most..

    m jus messed I have to carry this guilt forever...

  27. u did a good thing by telling her. "how cud u do this to me".

    well u dint DO anything didya...u jus told her the truth.

    well.. i will stay even if u dnt want me too.

  28. This comment has been removed by the author.

  29. i wrote smething that was not right i guess.

    but well.. i dnt knw the situation totally. I hurt smeone.. I m sorry about that.

  30. veens

    u jus dont have to feel sorry..wateva u wrote it was wat a frnd writes..dey never see who's right who's not..
    dey are just dere wid dere frnds..but I am sue u wont' feel me as worth for calling a frnd after u read how heinous i m.
    I dont blame on u
    I brought dis to me
    love n luck

  31. haha cute one!

    ok I dun even wanna row a boat all the way to India, let me just hop on a Qantas n get there man. LOL!


  32. Qantas :P

    not a bad choice...u r welcome anetime :)
    but y do u need to hop in :P
    the australians..dey cant get kangarooo outta their mind :P

  33. yes! I always called Qantas the how did u know??


  34. wild guess...

    i guess aussies are not dat hard to predict.... :P

  35. welll accepting the fact that u did wrong.. and u did take the courage to tell her.. is worth everything in this world... not everyone has the courage to call themselves...heinous...etc.... pople seldom accept that they r bad.. and u did it... u tried... and i will be there for yu.

  36. veens
    thanks yaar..I really needed it..
    I kno accepting a fact needs a lot courage but believe be seeing a broken heart due to dis is more devastating than that..
    but i don't want to give her false better to tell her rather dan waiting to get caught..

  37. ***but i don't want to give her false better to tell her rather dan waiting to get caught..

    --u said it all! i would ave been more mad.. if u had not told her the truth...
    i m guessing... hope everything works out fine.

  38. yeah
    i hope so..but she is not taking it well..she is such a sweetheart..she checks on me everyday..and i can see how hard its for her to not follow our ritual " I love u " jus before disconnecting the call...sometimes she jus wait for me to say it..and how badly I want to say it to her...but...
    Ahh! it pains ..........

  39. tell her u lov her...! what else..u do and it shws wen u write it here

  40. veens
    the question is not about I love you or not..its about the question whether she will be accomodate herself in the next phase of our commitment..she knows that I love her..but..she has to decide the rest


Want a review ????

Blog Advertising - Advertise on blogs with


Related Posts with Thumbnails