Friday, December 14, 2007

A letter that changed my life

Two days back..I asked her to write a letter to tell the things she is insecure about and the things she wanted to solve before we get settled...coz i knew discussing it on fone or on net is not much helpful..So after hell lot of reluctance she wrote me a mail..writing her grievances..

The letter started wid a heading dat if u want to delete it now is okies and how bad i wish now dat..i shud had deleted it rather dan going thru.....

I agreed to her all demands..not because she wanted...but i wanted her to feel secured ...but the only fact that troubled me throughout was dat she thot me as a mcp wen actually saying love u to me..i thot she understood..i thot women love a possesive man..I thot she wud at least kno..dat not letting her out of my sight is not an act of taming her..but my love dat dont want to part away from her..but all she understood dat i don understand her need to pursue her goals and atypical mcp....I even convinced her...dat no I m making her secure on her demands only because..i want her to kno dat i love her...but today my love for her was getting restless of the simple thot of being parted away from such a lovely creature...In the afternoon today..she pulled out an amazing act..dat i oderwise wud had appreciated if i had heard on radio or seen on TV performed by any oder..but done by her made me worried..and now i understand..y my parents were always worried and my research guide..who is more like a guardian to me.. is always worried on my heroic acts..coz i hav seen but neva understood..that being a hero has its own prices..and wen my baby was on the stage to be da one to pay the prices..i got all afraid...and I ended up in being possesive ..extra caring ..dat i yesterday pledged not to be...but the taste of freedom she got...was better dan the love that i failed to shower properly...So she asked Choose her and her demands..or leave her..and I jus simply annoyingly said..I will leave her..and she left me.....the girl who neva left me..even i rejected her demands earlier jus left me coz i agreed jus for a day..and my love dint permitted to me to agree more...
But I think..she is after all a human she has the right from by whom she want to be loved..and whom she gonna love..
The last real feeling she expressed to me was " I hate you"...
So i ended up liting da smoke after 2 months of abstinence..coz it really dont matters..if m not loved by wats da point to leave smoking for my loved one..and wen i really had da courage to say her "I love you"... all I getting is a non responsive fone...saying subscriber is currently not responding at the moment...May be she is asleep..may be she aint picking ..I don kno..But i kno I love her..and rite now I also kno how easy must be for a person to end up his life..wen he is all in pains...

take care all of u


  1. :O :O :O
    are u insane?? 6 mahine kya mech walo se door rahe bheja kharab ho gaya hai aapka... ye pyar mohabbat sab bakwa hai.. its not worth givin ur life for.. damn . jise dekho pyar mohobat pe jaan dene ja raha hai.. thr are other things in life.

  2. bhaiya...

    u kw i hav realised dis thng in my one on this earth is dat much important that u give up ur life for them..if dis thought of urs is conveyed to ur "love" jes try to c her reaction...dats gonna tell a lot bout u being loved by dat spl. person...

    d whole point i wanna make here is let d other person jes kw dat u care for them to dat extent..if dey understand it.. nothing gr8 dan dat..but if dey dont...jes think over dese lines

    "dont make som1 ur priority when u r only an option in their life"

    on a more "me kinda" note.

    chorna hi hai toh chicken choro :D

  3. @abhishek..
    arre yaar wo suicide nahi kar rha tha..wo toh main keh raha tha ki I was thinking that how things get easy :P

    @ asha..
    Chicken..aila..fir toh meri gf bhi mujhe chhor degi..fir tujhe khilaye bina kaise hoyega :P
    btw she take me as an option but da fact is m the only option too as per her in her life ...coz we patched up again...abhi tu jaldi se orkut aa fir main intro karata hoon usse :P
    fir dekhna tu bhi usi ka side legi.. 8-|

  4. arey dere is a problem wid d perspective ...quoting u
    but the only fact that troubled me throughout was dat she thot me as a mcp wen actually saying love u to me...
    [mcp here is my cutie pie :P as in d song]
    on a serious note its amazing how words can bring two strangers close nd even d lovers grow apart.

    take care


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