Chakudi

Since all of them have got dere identies and need not like it to be disclosed ..so I will be posting abt dem wid dere nick..which i and dey kno.
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And da fst one is Chakudi...aka VD..aka Beedi.
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We fst met in a community..which is my favourite one and where I used to hit gals...(used to :O ..heheh.. nopes..still I hit gals dere..)where i found dis gal...a completely funny and hyper gal..say anything to her and da next reply comes don make it hard..m already high..seldom i found her to be saying dat she is not high..and trust me..I never found anytime dat she was high too..coz wateva u say to her, she will jus reply me high..and was never high on me...
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She rejeccted my friend request..and it made me so angry dat I was like..oh i will kill dis gal..and wat dis gal said..hey we talk in community na..so y we need to add ourselves..and i really got freaked out..and I used to fite wid her in our common frnds scrap book and thx to orkut she had to add me up as to scrap me she needed to sign up words..lolz.
And dat time she was having a fite wid her sistah( yeah she has a bad habbit of making every now and den gal her sistah..achah hua maine usse sistah nahi banaya nahi toh she wud had even her bhabhi her sistah..hehehe)
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Wen we jus started to talk..she said me dat she not gonna be online from next week..me was all like..y and sort of things..and she was like..no i will not come..and trust me she increased her orkutting and stay in messenger by quadrauple.hehehe afta dat and was neva off..but dat time we got to kno each oder very well..she was too arrogant dat she dint add me up in messenger. and den wen she added....we talked like hours or so..knowing eachoder well..she read my blog and got so confused dat who da hell is dis DD ..he is sum1 dere and sum1 else in real life thinkings..hehehe
(gal i am all like wat i do in orkutting :P)
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So here is wat i feel for her :p
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Chakudi da gal who hav a lil bit of gusssa..love to be teased coz she love to see her friends laughing ..and she acts like she is so annoyed..but in reality she is sweeter..much sweeter.she always cares about da ppl who are frind to her and even cant stay anytime widout tears if any frind scold her...and she manaofies a lot ...She loves tennis..love being called sania mirza..lol...she hates tv series REMIX( lol.hehehehe..she is damn crazy abt dis)..she is very understanding..even her life wen pass thru bad phases..u will neva see her sad..she jus say m high and and we kno if she is high means..dat she is loving to be teased.
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She cares for me alot :)
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Though nowadays a lil less..may be I ve started going outta sight much..coz i don come online much...so may be out of sight out of mind thing is dere
But gal my prayers are always wid you..be da gal u are like..and stay high all da time..coz I love to tease you.
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luv n carez :)

Those Who Are More Real Than My Real Friends

I was thinking for a long time..dat i shud write sumthing about my virtual friends. Virtual friends: As the term goes by I dont met dem in person..and we spend hours together wid each oder..Of course via Net. :P ... Virtual friends As da name goes..I dont kno wat dey think of me wat dey feel of me..do dey really miss me when they are offline (of course no 1 can miss me when dey are online..coz m online 24 hours a day..lol...oops but dey can avoid me...thx to yahoo msngr..invisi mode and oops I jus realised dat's y ppl don add me in Gtalk..coz it has no invisi mode..lol)..means in dere real life sitting in a canteen..sipping a cup of coffee or tea...biting his or her food during the breakfast or lunch time..or dinner..I kno 1 frnd who I think..whenever she bites she thinks about whether dis emotional DD (jerk) had ate or not :)...OOPS DD means not didi it's Day Dreamer, mine orkut nick a few days back. I dont kno whether dey remember me when dey got to bed, after da whole day, and think about da choirs..whether dey feel da urge to to talk to me whenver dey come online..Itz all a bit fussy....coz my life revolve rounds dose virtual friends...
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Y??
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May be i m da biggest jerk in real life or may be da biggest looser..so I stay quite most of da time..yeah sumtime silently say a comment wid a double meaning...and dose who understands laughs wid da deeper meaning..and dose who dont or pretend dat dey don understand, laughs too..So I hav a image of a funny boy..who is famous for his mischievious comments..lol But no1 knows me dere too.. wat I think..wat i feel..wat I wants..
dey are real friends..who believes in reality...dat is practicallity..man is born alone and will go back alone..so think of ur own..and care only in da time of need. ...
But I care for all my real frnds and virtual frnds..really speakin...I dreamt about doing orkutting when I was away for a while..and sumtimes during post hours in sleep if i get any ..when m alive in dis real yet da virtua life.lol.thinking about wat dey are doing.. wat wud dey hav talked..wat are dey thinking..hhehhehehe.....dat's called net addiction...
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First I thot I write about all da frnds I made in a single general post..but den i thot dat wud be very much unjustified..coz every1 needs a unique description about dem and every1 has got different characteristics ( dis word was a spell test in my kid hood and was a matter of great prestige..if any1 spell it correct)...So da next few days..I will be posting about my frnds in virtual life....wat dey mean to me and wat I feel for dem..and of course da fst one is a very sweet friend of mine..who is my blog admirer..and she is waiting for it too... So gal dis post is dedicated to u.. ;)
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My life revolves round and round and round dis net..and god knoes wat will happen when dis net will die ..
may be I would be dead man walking.. again.
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luv n carez

Y me ???? God!!!! Y me ???

The night seems to be so long..now these days. Few days back.. I used to boast amout my nocturnal features. Remaining awake till long some times 3 ..some times 4..some time the whole night in her company.... and still da morning remained as fresh as ever....never felt da sleepiness in my eyes...dere was always da dream dat floated ..da life was as calm as da mid ocean..serene but as deep as it is...the birds chirping had itz own music ..da floating clouds made itz shape even in pitch dark..da starry skies felt me to search her name in dem and believe me i fonder it all times when i had my fixament in da vide of da vast sky filled wid twinkling stars.
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But.....
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Now da days are changing..even da soir is not my own..not even da night which always calmed me soothed me in her arms..She said her hopes are all me...and she cant wait till long..may be she will leave soon to my dearest god....who always envied my possessions..and snatching dem before i can hav it complete in my arms.Dis time is not so different either...
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But....
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Please god! I m not gonna fight wid ya dis time..i m ready to leave my claim on her..but please give her strength to carry on..please don take her wid ya..at least let me feel dis time dat u r wid me..I love her..so i love you too..please god let me fulfill her hopes dis time..give her little strengths to carry on..please god I love her like anything..still i cudn't muster da sought courage to accept dat..please god at least dis time dont take my love wid ya..oderwise m coming to you too...den be ready to answer me..and da question is all u kno .
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Y me???
God!!!!!!! Y me???

The Signature of a killing machine

The Signature

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There was a boy....who lived through innocence..fst time heard dat y he took birth in dis merciless world..his dream shattered..his whole innocence crumbled...his whole world cried out in despair..
Noooooooooo cried his little heart..but the sound was too low dan wat he needed to deliver to the world..lost in da small horizon between his heart and throat and never actually came out.
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He got to kno dat he was born to serve..born to kill..born as a terminator.
Got trained through the finest machineries...executed toughest task of the world...pledged to not come in relations dat can weaken the spirits of his instincts...but the fate had itz own plan to curb his hopes..
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Da boy turned 16..when the fst light of hope streaked through his dark fate...a cute dream attached herself to da lost dreams of da boy... a ray of hope for awakening da born free spirits of da boy..he was amazed ..how beautiful da dream can be..where the redness remained but it changed herself to a blooming flower..instead of da despair he always dreamt...His spirit rebelled..he decided to born free..but the war was beteen fate and hope...How can the fate loose...he continued to execute and planning to runaway to a world where he can live of his own.... But how can he ... manhunt was dere to nab him elsewhere.... A red corner was against him...but he dint forgot to sleep ..never forgot to dream...fate striked itz fst blow..da cute dream was forced to be sumone else's ..the cute dream revolted and shattered herself
wid da lines dat follows...

"I m sorry! I m having a new life inside me ..but da seed is of sumone else's..I betrayed u..I hope if not dis time..the next live ..I will be wid u cuddling..crying..laughing wid ur dreams...sorry but dis life is too hard to live alone....plz forgive me................."
And da dream ended dere..leaving him amidst da darkness all over again.... The streaking light of hope dissapeared behind da gloomy skies of his dark fate.
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Hope cried a lot..but it again blossomed amidst da cloud of despair...a flower who was shattered by her own world..flew in ..in his darkness..to find a light ... to find a breeze... to feel herself.
The boy... now a man..felt the light again glowing behind da horizon.......he pledged not to loose da light dis time...But he feared da cruel fate's blow..he dint want to shatter the flower again..so he soothed her to breathe a new life of her own and let her fly to a new horizon.....to find a new dream of her own...fearing still... dat the shattering lines don happen again.
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A light streaked again.....now he got tired of letting the light to pass away..he pledged to leave da pledges to serve and pledged to survive of his own...but still da light was not too bright to end his darkness...his darkness.. forced to execute new tasks..the tasks he has been carved for...da light struggled to live wid him..but fate again shut da window.....to leave him in darkness..No it was not da fate..but the man was too afraid of fate..and felt so weak dat he closed da window himself.
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When he was wandering amidst the barren island of love searching for the human faith widout any maps..widout any light....he was struck wid a lightening... a flash so long dat he can see the path to walk on..to reach a new human faith....But his leg trembled ... to walk further..his heart pounded not to explore..and he decided to stop right there..closing his eyes..so dat the lightening of hope don't strike again.and pleged to live in da darkness..da darkness he can call his own.
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The smile of fate appeared again on da clouds of darkness..

My life..and Indian net

I was thinking dat hmmmm wat i was thinking........hmmm lolz Itz among da times when i want to write so much but yet i m getting confused about da contents first i thot dat i shud write a poetry.den i thot current affairs at last irony striked and i decided to write abt my life ..........
Last two days.my cute indian server behaved so gud dat I was not able to talk to her.And today everything changed a lott. She wrote me damn gud and cute offlines dat she thinks dat i m ignoring her. And again my indian server hehehehehe..it got disconnected again and i was not even able to send her any offlines and still itz not getting connected.So i thot of writing a mail and suddenly me PC got restarted...lolz. the long cute mail got washed off. And when I again wrote dat it lacked all the beauties and all the emotions dat I encarved my previous mail wid.
Human emotions........god knows how he made dis damn everchanging materialistic thinkings dat we called emotions. lolz I have gone mad I guess. take care

DIDO
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When I started this blog I've never thought that I would be placing any lyrics of any song, but sum how I felt that this is what she thinks. If u read my blog carefully u'll find out who the gal is, I' m talking about.This is what I felt in my short tenure of conversation with her. She is never interested in continuing her life after the tragedy of her life. I respect her feelings and pray to the god that she finds the courage to start over again.

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Life is for rent

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I haven't really ever found a place
that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again
I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind
that your heart ain't exactly breaking
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It's just a thought, only a thought
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But if my life is for rent
and I don't lean to buy Well I deserve
nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
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I've always thought that I would
love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live my life more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
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It's just a thought, only a thought
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But if my life is for rent
and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
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While my heart is a shield
and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail
so I won't even try Well how can I say I'm alive
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If my life is for rent...