Friday, February 09, 2007

Question dat is making me sleepless for nights....

Why it's like dat..wenever i come to someone's life..dey loose something dere r severaal things dat needed to be confessed about the real me..

it started wid my fst love
she was such a sweet gal we were the happymost boy n gal ..madly in love ..together... I still remember da fst day wen we actually talked a lot.. she was so excited.. dat sumday she will wear her mom's floral bridal dress..walk in da church.. holding her father hands..wid ever1's gaze at her.. and she really was lost in da dreams
wat happened I entered her life..i loved her madly..n wat happened her whole dream shattered..she still got her wedding dress n wedding bells..but she hated her fathers hand..she felt every1 is mocking at her..and wid dat kiss she felt her whole life got torn apart in front of her eyes. And she gave her life..and all i cud do was standing dere consoloing her on her wedding day..dat things are OK..she jus asked one thing in the end..I wanna die in ur arm..let my last sleep be in ur arms.. and here even i dint had da means to visit her resting in da eternal sleep.. No ...not the means..I dont had dis courage to go to her..fearing if I go dere n she ask me da ques..why i came to her life?..wat will i answer..

Dere's saloni..
who madly loves i cant do anything coz she took birth afta me..aand i i was real happy to hav da doll in my hand..and i wud dress her up feed her..protect her..n i was jus like her second father..nurturing pampering n spoiling her..and den wen she asked me da ques..will i ever be wid her..and i answered her no..i felt like her whole world shattered dere..n how much pain I felt dat moment..finding my own baby crying for sumthing dat is in my hands and i cant give her..and here again da ques popped..if u dint had da means y i entered in her life..y i nurtured her..if i had to say no to her..

Dere's Amber,
She was so happy in her life..may be she was well in pretending her happiness..I entered her life n found da bittermost truth of her life..I consoled her..I gav her strength to think of the life ahead..and silently I withdrew myself..shattering her..nd da reason..dat i was not able to handle her..her comments pained me..she started carving for da attention..started to blur out her anger and frustration on me..nd i withdrew myself..and here she is asking why i came to her life..and i believe dat she hav strong wits nd i kno she will kill me one day..coz mm like every1 ..who supported her and den withdrew myself.

Dere's Nawaal
My cutest and dearest best frnd ever..I was da one who she was reluctant to let in..and i entered in her life..and now wen she needs me..i cant talk to her..coz i really cant talk wid her..coz she is best frnd of amber..and she has dis same question..and i really feel dat her love life's failure was jus because..i withdrew myself at moment wen she needed me,, I helped her to start nd wen i was away it ended becoz she was finding herself helpless..Look I again left her alone and shattered...

Dere's Sara ..
She is very committed.and my most caring frnd N i firmly believe dat she cud had been more happier sans me..everyday i hurt her..n she neva left me..she dint deserved a bit to hear any of da things I told her..feel ..dat i carved her on wid da sharp knife..her happy go lucky to turn in life's full of nite mares..she lives in constant dilemma dat wat will happen to me..if she leaves..and dat aint helping her to live,...and i m clinging to her like a leech..sucking her blood out..I still remember da fst time she left me..and i was waiting for her aimlessly ..n wen she came back..she cudnt leave me..i became an addiction of her...Hey I forgot to tell..she is da best of the friends one can ever dream for...and really everyday we end up fiting and nex day we are frnds again...and really she cares for me alot..and in return I always gave her names..she has a diary wid which she keep my names to her..jealous..meena..proudy..n all..but believe me.. she is the simplest of gal wid very big heart...and i really loved da way she called me tonite..and said sorry for a part dat really dint bothered me..dat she was sleepy and she put down da fone..and really it makes me smile nd m still smiling...

Dere's my son
Yup.. she aint my real son..but i neva felt like dat she aint my lil son, my blood..

I remember da fst day wen a yellow rose gal named dont bother..came to da comm..she was so happy..jubilant ..daring..lovely..sweet.. innocent..
And i entered her life..da fst thing she felt was dat m her sweet lil kid..whom she can neva part away..and wen she felt perplexed abt our relation..she left me..she came back again..n proudily says ki dont explain wat DD is to her..and how pure dere relation is..and one day i snatched her best frnd..she felt shattered..she left me for my own gud..coz she really cant see me all nroken up....she came back..and I kept clinging on her like her lil baby..but sumwhere she lost her best frnd in me..she cares for me..but today i got sure.m aint her best frnd..and dats y she searched it in another..she found too..and wen she left me last time..he helped her a lot..and now wen i returned back..out of jealousy n fear of loosing her over me..her newfound best frnd too got lost..n she was all crying..n i was hear hopelessly sitting n helpless..crying..and I kno I snatched her two best frnds..and da looted da trust over frndship.I made her so happy life..jus sad n sad n sad..all i cud do was to cling to her like a parasite..carving forher affection..
and in return..i was da reason she is loosing everything..and I kno she is defn asking dis ques..y DD y u came in my life..or may b not today..may be she uttered back already or will utter.. And look i entered her life n her whole life went in haywire

So dis is me..beware of me..all i can give is pain n suffereing..n Im really perplexed y cant sleep..may be dis ques ..dat m da omen in everyloved one's banging me also too hard..and i m really afraid..wen myself will ask me y u came to ur own life

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