I wanna be oblivious....but I might not ever :-|

There are so many things swarming my mind...of which my longest score on loneliness and being single...down with flu...getting backstabbed by dear frnds...left alone in darkness and all the negative vibes are topping the list.... but I guess each one has to live his own life...and u can't expect that all will help ur cause... at least wen I m not shifting  my gears in their direction.....

I'm so jealous of their obliviousness towards life.. :-)

Nowadays...loneliness and nothing to do is killing me... and the serious shit is this flu that I m caught up with...son of bitch  is not letting me even smoke a fag ..leave alone joints or other things...

oh!! btw there is a new party drug available cheap ...it is named YABA... and believe me the kick it gives on and after taking that is seriously awesome....thx to Headlines Today for its free publicity...now even I ..who is living in a small city know abt it... just one added info...it is addictive and it affects ur sexual stimulation...it is not ecstasy it is sexctasy so beware it might make u impotent without it for ever.....and a lil overdose can burst ur nerve ...so if u wanna do this high illegal stuff... then look before u leap....

today I got a phone from a long lost frnd...and she was getting married and guess what..like all time she said u were so coward then...u could have proposed me at least once...and I laughed...she laughed and we changed the topic....so everyone is getting married....I guess it is high time for me to join a job and settle finally...oh btw my fellowship is gonna increase to non-taxable Rs 29,000 per month...and I am eagerly waitng for the hike.... I guess now I can buy scotch instead of buying whiskeys in pub ....

love u all ... and if u have skipped to the end of  post..avoiding reading all the above...u did a great thing...now shut my blog off and move on  to the next blog.. lol

PS: the pic is a low resolution cybershot...if u need a higher resolution u can always ask for it mailing in 

sourish.rs.bce@itbhu.ac.in

Another sad post...

Last few days I am waking up early in the morning and I m spending a helluva time in Ghats of Banaras.. ( river banks)...I am drinking a lot and I am smoking a lot... and I doing hash quite often..and I really don't know why I wanna get high... this morning when I woke up.. I was all banged up...my head was aching my heart was beating fast...I was sweating high and I was having some thousands thoughts waitng to barge in my head and explode it but really was not able to apprehend any of them..

Even frndhship day went off quick... I wished some close frnds and I then switched off my cell ...and slept the whole evening....

I don't know what is happneing to me..i wanna cry out loud..but I don't knw what should i cry about...i seriously need some anti depressant...and I don't wanna do morphine again...nor I wanna take any coke...because last time I bled hard after overdosing them to meself..

I don't know what I m worried about..but I guess I do need to take some time off to some place to have some great food and sex...but I m all deficient in money and u don't get food and sex if you don't have any....

I am all banged up now...I guess it's enough of blabbering... 

But I need all of you to pray for a girl who I din't know prior to her death but her death moved me up very hard...she committed suicide with a note that reads sumthing like......
 " Mom needs kidney badly and my other siblings need mom more than what I need... but she won' take my kidneys to live ..so I am committing suicide..so that she can't refuse to take my kidneys now..."

Only if she knew that kidneys from dead people can't be transplanted.... 

May God bless her soul and take some good deeds that I did in my life ..add them to her to give her a place in heaven... and forgive her for committing suicide...

Love u sweetheart from core of my heart..and I sincerely pray if u ever take birth on earth..let me be ur father ...

Ps: I seriously need you to pray for the girl...

Solar Eclipse 2009 - A photographer's boon

Most of you know my passion for photography and as people say "God help those who help themselves" ..I was among the luckier few to live in the city of Banaras where clouds parted to give a glimpse of the eclipse...

As I have cybershot ..not much equipped for solar focussing..it was tough to focus ..but found many....

So I will give the series of the photographs I took...so that those not lucky as me can have a glimpse....

Yeah! the most prized photograph which photographers just get milliseconds to capture in a century...The Corona ring and I was lucky here too to have it on my cybershot.... oh btw these are all low resolution one..if u need a high resolution .. you can always contact me....

Love n carez

PS: this post is dedicated to all the fans of my photography....especially Preetilata and Mystic Rose