How to increase your Readers via SEO ... *Humor* ??

The post is for all the tech geeks and wanna be tech geeks who don't have a clue what SEO means...

No buddyy!!! SEO is not misspelled CEO... it means Search Engine Optimization .. which means how to write so that the search engines recognize ur writings all above the other.... for that you only have to do is follow some basic protocols apart from writing good and creative...

First you go through the examples...

Rahul Gandhi- 

The mumma's boy who is gonna be our next prime minister for sure..gives a statement in Bihar.. that all the NSG commandoes were from Bihar and U.P. who saved Maharashtra.. 

So what's new???  Whole media said it before when MNS were thrashing the north Indians...

So this is not SEO... as Rahul is already famous and he will automatically rank above the most due to his already popular Image...

but what if u combine the Sena Response.. that Rahul is unmarried so he has grown up horns as no other body part is having any change.. now that is SEO... U add adult contents in the remark and whole nation will read it.. 

So choose ur title wisely... so that it contains keywords which has Adult value as wateva we all say ..we search adult things pretty regularly on internet...

Jokes Apart: Don't you think Rahul Gandhi is another hoax.. his party is running both Central government in India and State government of Maharashtra..so what is stopping him to take action against the people who are dividing people racially????... lol... 

Now see ..he used Search Engine Optimisation technique For Bihar election.. all he has to say motivating word for Biharis and they will flock to vote for him and ultimately he is not going to do anything except talk and talk...

Shahrukh Khan :

My name is Khan and I am an Indian and I will play Pakistani Players... 

WoW bold...!!! I salute you for that.. because ur speech which is so inspiring still are all SEOs... I won't blame you.. as you actually wanted a free controversial publicity for KKR in upcoming IPL 3 and his film..which Amir got from Chetan Bhagat controversy.. but your words were so SEO that you are now all over... lol... but at least you have the guts to follow up what u said unlike Amitabh who has gone to Bal Thackeray to show his film Rann which nobody else wanna see...

Now above two examples are already famous..now how can you ..the common can be famous...??? So the next example follows :

MNS , Shivsena and Petty politics :

See.. Do u know who leads Janta dal united or where it rules.. but u all know who are ruling these too parties... because they used SEO...and now are better known than most national party...

First they started with Verbal abuse to national celebrity like Amitabh  Bachan, then they started accusing Sachin Tendulkar , then Australian cricketers and now Shahrukh Khan...

Then they occasionally beat up fellow Indians to show their vandalism oops Nationalism..lol.. and all we do is talk about how bad they are and other parties are afraid of losing Maratha Manus... I guess they are people who are actually Aliens who has colonized Mumbai..

And Now they said... 'Don't blame me if people of Maharashtra.. ( The aliens > " Maratha Manus" ) wants to go separate from India'.... 

See now they are talking like Separatist which in times of Peace are called as Terrorists and they are again all over the news... lol ..and that is the best SEO  and you will be recognized world wide....

So you see these are the examples of how SEO can be used...

So summing it up in 5 points...

1) Be popular from prior
2) Use Adult words in your Vocabs and links
3) Beat Up people or thrash them in your blog
4) Oppose whatever good is there as people like negative thoughts and write it bold and  clear
5) Last but not the list.. u can be a terrorist like Kasab and  MNS and Shivsena who wants a separate homeland

PS:  This post is dedicated to my  sister  who is new to blogging world and is worried because she gets so low traffic inspite of writing so good and all the people who wanna know how to get a good Page Rank ( How Google defines ur website ) and high traffic... rather than being a follower to all the site you visit and want them to be urs....

Wake up India.. 

Love and Carez....

Another Blog update....

 Sorry!! couldn't find any pic of blogger..so I searched in google and liked this relevant one :P 

Are u gonna read or what..Stop ogling and read the post...

Blogging ain't any fun like before......... Stop staring the girl :-||.....

Yeah!! so was saying and this is not my view but a general view of loads of my fellow bloggers. Many of them are already off for soul searching or are busy in their own life and some started being a silent reader which has advantage of not commenting yet getting an excuse if they miss one or two post like meself :D.

There are like 100 tags pending...my lappy is filled with loads of posts which are either left unfinished or are too personal to be published here but are published in my private blog. Don't worry I don't abuse you there as you already might have known by now that if I have a grudge on you I abuse you here only :D...but I won't tell if I fantasized about you there :P..

Ok boys !! Don't get excited...u were not in any of my fantasy.... :-| but if u wanna be ..ewwww... let's leave this issue here only....:P


Coming to the point... so see blogging ain't any fun like before... but I won't quit..at least not in near future


Now as I promised ..Here is another person from my blog list...which I m gonna talk about!!

This girl when I first met here on my blog was very impressed of my poetries...hahahaha...that might come actually as shock to u but I did write few rhythms and verses here and there...

What...??? Check the tags of poetries ... :-|

But that girl is a beautiful liar... :P She writes it more beautifully than anyone can ever...but I always take my advantage of being a moron in poetries and dissect her poems to pieces..:P ...like I asked once..who is the hero of the love poem  ...ur postman ??? hahahha :P ..

She is a sweet girl and she is supa hot :P but......but damn!! if only she was not going for the world record of longest span of being committed before tying the knot :D..
Can u believe she is hooked on with a guy for 10 years....how can anyone do that???...same stinking pheromones for 10 years :-O..none of my relationship would ever agree to bear my stink for so long  :P... and I m glad never they did..I changed 11 in last 10 years ..ok !!! 7 dumped me...but I dumped 4 ....that should get a count ...4 ain't low :-||

So coming to the point that girl is supahot...supa sweet and knows what is the meaning of commitment with a lil bit of poetries too :P...and she gossips with me all the time ...at least used to do all time before she thought to change herself and kick me out of her daily talking list....and believe me ..she can gossip a lot :P...and if I leave a chat that I have a gossip to share...she will defn reply in nxt minutes which she otherwise don't... ;-) hahahhahah

Yeah!!! Cindy... I was talking about you....a lil suggestion ...you were a sweet bubbly Shakespeare better than the smart moron u r trying to be now.. love ya... 
and u kno I was kidding in the part about him.. he must be great guy ...at least having you in his life is sufficient enough... :P hahahahhaa

Cindy is there with the name of Pallavini in bloglist..do check her out...oops her blog out ;)

 Pic courtesy: Weblink intact.....Gosh!! I won't ask permission..btw who asks anyways :P

PS: This might be my last post for the month...as I m going home on next saturday to my mom n dad....Love you all and have a nice time...

PSS :and since today is 9/11 do pray for the victims of that terror strike followed by a prayer for all those soldiers and innocents who got killed due the blind American  retaliation...

Social Network and Me

Good news for all of ya :P

okkk!!!!! don't be happy this blog is not banned .... :P

My Institute has banned facebook again :P and if u already didn't hide me from ur facebook status ..this will come as a state of relief as it means no Mafia updates of me flashing on ya news feed :P...lol... but I will still find time in evening to play...or I will take my own internet connection after all I can afford one....hehehe

Naaah!!! I m not gonna take internet connection...as who were my orkut frnds knew that I was one who used to update 500 scraps a day and was a complete addict... till my then gf told me to stop flirting around and be exclusive to her before she dumped me to loneliness... I was away from all social networking for a year or two before someone told me to join facebook  and Voila!! my social networking skills came alive and within a 1 and half month I have over 2000 frnds online and 149 levels in Mafia wars... :P and I know I can be over it as I got over from orkut, messengers and blogging..

And I got some really good frnds there... and they been more alive to me than many others...one of the girl is ANNISA ISNAINI  ...she is an Indonesian rock star or may be one day she will be and I never met anyone so multi-talented.. and she promised me to save me from all animals if we do any jungle trip.. she plays guitar for three bands and she can cook...:D
But she got a shitty net connection and I couldn't get more time knwing her otherwise I might have flown to Indonesia to meet and propose her...who won't like a girl who can play 'Stairways to Heaven' when u feeling low and fight with ya if u r in trouble... :-) and hahahaha she don't have my blog ID ..so I guess her praises will get lost with my next update but I know she made a place deep in my heart....

There were few frnds who were stupid enough to play movie games ' whose wife is this' but shouted aloud when it comes to mafia wars... but I guess now they will feel happy if not they already used the hide me option...and if they think they don't want me to be occupied and happy .. I guess they should get a life for themselves and stop being around in any of my profile...

Social networking is a funny thing...I might not meet anyone of you ever as I don't travel except needed and love spending my vacation with my family..but I was lucky enough to know many of ya or may be have a conceived notion about ya which you wanted to project of ya...but I like many of you... and I really hate some of u for ur attitude of behaving a smartass to me...and thinking me as a waste of time...Hey!!! I m already Masters of Technology and doing Ph.D. and I have more maturity than ya as I m deeply respected in all my circles.. but aneways u r entitled of ur stink-ass opinion...lol..another downside of democracy...


Apart from all my frnds in orkut whom I kno by their nickname , email ids and  voices ... there are few in blogger world who needs a mention... and I m gonna write abt them now... as I don't know wen I m gonna get time to write about ....so here is the fst person who is nowadays quite close to me...

H. NEHYA. M. KOHEN - A beautiful kid who claims to be a woman now flaunting her matured attitude in her blog and facebook . I don't know how she got so close to me but I really like her and love rescuing her out of troubles which she commonly finds herself in. There are so many things about her that I love and I might have said her Love you more than hundred times from core of my heart but always with a tag that not all love relations need to end to a bed... there are so many beautiful things about any relationship if u r not concerned about having one all for ya..and I really cherish her frndship and love..


Gosh!!! did ya all come reading upto this ??? Such a long post..... see Lena ..that's why I don't write nowadays....too much to write  :D

PS: The chronology of my blog mates to find a place on my blog is completely based on closeness and their recent attitude towards me... .......so if u don't find urself now..u might find urself later for sure as I m updating one at a time and really respect you all who are still here with me against all odds and if u not ever than seriously stop banging ur head and think ..do u deserve a place here after so much of ignoring attitude ... so......... 'STFU' and get a life !!!!!  U can't be shitting on me and thinking I will lick ur ass clean... lol...wow..what a quote... :D.. love you all...God Bless ya