How to increase your Readers via SEO ... *Humor* ??

The post is for all the tech geeks and wanna be tech geeks who don't have a clue what SEO means...

No buddyy!!! SEO is not misspelled CEO... it means Search Engine Optimization .. which means how to write so that the search engines recognize ur writings all above the other.... for that you only have to do is follow some basic protocols apart from writing good and creative...

First you go through the examples...

Rahul Gandhi- 

The mumma's boy who is gonna be our next prime minister for sure..gives a statement in Bihar.. that all the NSG commandoes were from Bihar and U.P. who saved Maharashtra.. 

So what's new???  Whole media said it before when MNS were thrashing the north Indians...

So this is not SEO... as Rahul is already famous and he will automatically rank above the most due to his already popular Image...

but what if u combine the Sena Response.. that Rahul is unmarried so he has grown up horns as no other body part is having any change.. now that is SEO... U add adult contents in the remark and whole nation will read it.. 

So choose ur title wisely... so that it contains keywords which has Adult value as wateva we all say ..we search adult things pretty regularly on internet...

Jokes Apart: Don't you think Rahul Gandhi is another hoax.. his party is running both Central government in India and State government of Maharashtra..so what is stopping him to take action against the people who are dividing people racially????... lol... 

Now see ..he used Search Engine Optimisation technique For Bihar election.. all he has to say motivating word for Biharis and they will flock to vote for him and ultimately he is not going to do anything except talk and talk...

Shahrukh Khan :

My name is Khan and I am an Indian and I will play Pakistani Players... 

WoW bold...!!! I salute you for that.. because ur speech which is so inspiring still are all SEOs... I won't blame you.. as you actually wanted a free controversial publicity for KKR in upcoming IPL 3 and his film..which Amir got from Chetan Bhagat controversy.. but your words were so SEO that you are now all over... lol... but at least you have the guts to follow up what u said unlike Amitabh who has gone to Bal Thackeray to show his film Rann which nobody else wanna see...

Now above two examples are already famous..now how can you ..the common can be famous...??? So the next example follows :

MNS , Shivsena and Petty politics :

See.. Do u know who leads Janta dal united or where it rules.. but u all know who are ruling these too parties... because they used SEO...and now are better known than most national party...

First they started with Verbal abuse to national celebrity like Amitabh  Bachan, then they started accusing Sachin Tendulkar , then Australian cricketers and now Shahrukh Khan...

Then they occasionally beat up fellow Indians to show their vandalism oops Nationalism..lol.. and all we do is talk about how bad they are and other parties are afraid of losing Maratha Manus... I guess they are people who are actually Aliens who has colonized Mumbai..

And Now they said... 'Don't blame me if people of Maharashtra.. ( The aliens > " Maratha Manus" ) wants to go separate from India'.... 

See now they are talking like Separatist which in times of Peace are called as Terrorists and they are again all over the news... lol ..and that is the best SEO  and you will be recognized world wide....

So you see these are the examples of how SEO can be used...

So summing it up in 5 points...

1) Be popular from prior
2) Use Adult words in your Vocabs and links
3) Beat Up people or thrash them in your blog
4) Oppose whatever good is there as people like negative thoughts and write it bold and  clear
5) Last but not the list.. u can be a terrorist like Kasab and  MNS and Shivsena who wants a separate homeland

PS:  This post is dedicated to my  sister  who is new to blogging world and is worried because she gets so low traffic inspite of writing so good and all the people who wanna know how to get a good Page Rank ( How Google defines ur website ) and high traffic... rather than being a follower to all the site you visit and want them to be urs....

Wake up India.. 

Love and Carez....

The story of a nobody

That morning.....

 

I am a nobody..an average looking person. I am 5' 6"" , kind of fair but I never felt so but my mother always said I am one. So, I guess you have to believe her. I earn quite a decent but I need to take trains still to reach my office. I so dream that one day flying cars will all over the city and I can fly anywhere in a second but till then I guess I should grace the railways. I am very happy as she smiled yesterday. Yeah! she smiled at me. Can you believe that she smiled ?? I thought she never will know that I like her but today i am thinking to ask her name. I should take it slow . i don't want her to think I am desperate.

10 hours later.

Shitt! I am late ... The boss is such a moron ...what was so necessary about the meeting . I knew he was not going to attend that anyways. She must have left by now. I am such a loser , a girl smiled at me and here I am coming late when I was supposed to ask her name. I am taking it so slow. I know this is the reason none of the girls in my college liked me. Hey!! thank god !! There she is. Should I go to her??? No, I shuld wait , I should not look desperate, but it is just the name .. no I am not going, Oh god!! she is looking at me....Should I smile or not??? ....What the hell was that sound?? What is it??? ..My god!! what hit me?? Shitt!! is this blood?? Oh God !! it is blood... it is paining so much...Shitt!! my head's all shaky , I  can't stand ...why this is happening to me ...why I am hit?? Oh god!! am I going to die...it is so paining. Why is the darkness all around???...

3 more hours later...

Where am I?? Why I am in hospital??? Was it mom?? No no !! I want to see my mother.. What the hell they pushed in me... ??

9 days later.....

how long I was asleep. Why I am feeling so weak...? Why I am feeling sleepy... Mom!! I can see her.. why my hands not moving???

44 days later......

The doctors discharged me today and told me that I can go home.. I am going home in taxi.. it has been so long since I rode home in a taxi...I heard they caught one and is now in jail..

365 days later.....

I am scared !! They said in TV that it can happen again tomorrow..1 year... And I still don't know what was her name... I never saw her again...my friends say that she was hit very bad ..one bullet to her chest and one grazed through her throat..I don't want to believe them...but her smile still haunts me...and the killer is still sitting in comfort...

......

This was the story of the nobody... who survived the 26/11 but lost a lot of blood and is scared, yet he embraced his life once again. all he wants to ask what was his fault that he was gunned down without any reason and why the criminal is still sitting in comfort in jail while he can't sleep in night and can't move unscared in a crowded place....

Once again ...my condolences for the deceased and admiration towards the survivors who are still fighting the odds and moving on in the 'land of opportunities' ..yeah Mumbai..the same land where a MLA was beaten by fellow MLAs as he took the oath in Hindi instead of marathi ..which is crime for some Marathi Manus who are bullying weaks yet pee their pants when it comes to fighting the real enemy...the land for which whole India cried and still prays.....This my tribute for the brave soldiers and commoners who laid down their life as they felt themselves Indians...

PS:I so wanted to write about my new relation.. but I guess today is not the day to write..so .. and God bless you all.... JAI HIND.. Stay safe...

Pic disclaimer : The image used is completely random and bear no resemblance with the character of the fiction, anything else is purely coincidental.. weblinks are intact and if objected will be removed ... thank you...

Whom to blame ????

I kno I have been away from here for long....no replying not commenting...frnds in facebook know that I am busy playing Mafia wars...and it really  is too much absorbing :P ....but today I am not gonna talk about mafia wars

But I wanna say about sumthing today which bothers me the most .....

Today i visited one temple which is high in security risk with my laptop  as I don't look like any terrorist ....they didn't obejcted ...there were 200 people there ..and I could have been any suicide bombers ..funnily the metal detector door frame was there but was unmanned with its alrm turned off....so lights were flashing red ....but none was there to notice...so is the situation in most of the Varanasi which is crowded all the time with vehicles parked everywhere without any objection...and anyone can be loaded with explosives and triggered....and this is when varanasi is hosting Sawan Piligrimage.......

Today Kasab confessed his crime...and confessed the whole drama about it....may be he was tired or may be he wants some mercy and i am not gonna blame him for that...if i had played Kasab's role in any  other enemy nation..I would have been termed hero....like what Mumbaikers did with Mr. Raj Thackeray...he killed...he maimed innocent Indians ...his brother of same mother nation and what Mumbaikers did..they kept mum...because it was all about their slogan 'Jai Maharashtra'.... wat the fu*k ????? U live in our India and u keep on maiming innocent Indians shouting Jai Maharashtra....and this is not an isolated condition whole of the nation knows People of that state are too biased...so why should we give food grains to them...when the state was witnessing famine.....why we relieve the loans with our tax payer's money....it was indeed sad to see brothers killing brothers...

I will not blame Pakistan for that..it pains wen I see Indian Police out of shape taking bribes.....instead of providing security....the police is out of weapons, armors and vehicles....but they have luxury home...

People want Kasab to be hanged before 26/11 but wat is his crime wen I compare it with greasing 7 people under a BMW by a drunk driver who is gonna serve 2 years instead of 5...actors keeping AK 56 and then running for election...

It really pains when I see the condition in India...... and what we enjoy ...that Kasab confessed that he and few others kept thousands of lawmen on toes and kept on killing peoples....who the fuck needed his confession..if he is guilty prove him and hang him......

I kno it sounds a frustrated post..but believe me we are so open to more attacks..another 26/11 is not far...

God bless India....

love n  carez

PS: This post is dedicated to people who died in racial attacks in Mumbai and people who wanted to go home on 26/11 but never reached...and the policemen who laid down their life coz of our home misnistry's or better our incompetence.....