Amazing Human beings

Yeah!! I am utterly  jobless today!! So I thought let's go update the blog.....

Today's topic is Human beings...

Not I am any alien.. but I am always amazed by human being's narcissistic nature... if you do not understand what it is and yet u r reading it just to make you feel knowledgeable..then u are one.. just kidding.. it means human beings  preoccupied with self love ...

You come to someone's life.. you screw it up and then u become busy in your life.. mission accomplished...

I know that is not unusual....it happens with all of us... but what amazes me is the way people explain it to themselves....

I am right.. it needed to be done... I saved from more agonies... like if the other person cares...I get simply perplexed... how can someone pretend that act of being selfish is so selfless.....It is just like giving a toy gun to a kid and taking it away saying he may learn how to use an actual gun later in his life...that is a sheer stupidity.. but then that's what make them survive the guilt of fucking up some one's life....

The narcissistic nature is very predominant in fairer sex.... they make a boy their friend...when they already have a boyfriend... and then they go fuck around with that boy and when the boy is out of his mind for her... she plays the boyfriend card... How can you think about it?? You know I have a boyfriend... Isn't it amazing?? why in the name of holy heaven u need to have a boy as ur friend.. Why can't you make a girl a friend..you wanted someone to care for you apart from your boy friend.. find a girl.. why you have to choose a boy...?? Isn't it amazing ???

Boys are no less.... they have a girlfriend.. they want a change.. they don't have one.. they jump on someone's already happy relationship ...

Why it is not about loving each other?? After all, human beings are noted for the fact called love....

Life sucks!! if only it really did suck...

Recently, I realized that online world is not for me anymore... I feel so irritated with the all those facts that I used to do... chatting, texting ,sexting, tweeting, orkuting, online flirting, facebooking...Guess I am getting old for this kind of stuffs.. I seriously don't get the point when you have a laptop and you are practically net connected all the time when you are in office or in home...that is like almost all the non sleeping time of the life... then why the hell people need to be connected to internet while they are en-route to both these destination... I seriously feel like crap when people go to pay hefty 3G price to stream youtube videos...that you can get on your free net connection and transfer it to your mobile via Bluetooth or data cable....Camera on mobile I can understand.. but making MMS while you are making love...what the hell is that?... but anyways don't stop...I defn like to watch your girl in action.. ...*wink wink*

Yeah!!! this is just a random ranting... This is the first time in last 2 months I got time free for myself because the reactor I was working got leaked...so I thought why not catalog my life here...I know nobody reads...(Don't get presumptous that I am going to share some private life here.. I am pervert but I don't like other perverts..)...so everything will stay safe and preserved here forever....Oh! you know there is no word 'informations' ...it is only 'information'...the one thing that internet did..was screwing up my english....I was never the star english student of the class but was fair... but now...my english sucks big time....

Last two months many things happened... My little cousin brother got married...there i realized..opting for doing Ph.D. degree actually destroyed my life...but then I did a lot of masti.. I smoked, I drank, I used a lot of stuff.... I am not regretting...but I screwed up many lives connected to mine... my parents who wanted a son who will be right there as support when Daddy dear retires..my sister who wanted me to help her in times of pain.. my girl who wanted a steady married life...everyone waited for me to complete my education and start taking up responsibilities...but I was busy chatting... busy flirting online...playing stupid games..smoking weeds ...taking up contraband in se . smoking cigarettes.. drinking alcohol.. and busy watching porn and playing with myself when I am not doing all the above.. lol...loneliness sucks...  if only it had really sucked..life would have been much better... lol

But then ...what I have started .. I need to complete it... I just realized it little late ...when everything starting taking its toll on my sanity....Life sucks ..seriously big time...sometimes I think ..better to end this... but you know what if there is no reincarnation..even as pig (I am sure I will be no human next time)..you end up your life...you put misery to an end..but you actually go blank....you will never be able to taste good food..good wine .and good women...so see I am not a quitter...so even if this loneliness suck...everyone walk away from me..I will be there living this life with all the fun that I can have.....You know...there was a russian cosmonaut who was alone is space for more than a year alone in a space module...the module malfunctioned ..there  started a beeping sound...he was very irritated.. he tried his level best to stop this sound.. but he couldn't...he realized that he will go insane...then he decided to do something amazing.. he made himself fall in love with that annoying sound....when he returned ..he said the music was so good... it never let him feel lonely.. So...I have started loving these miseries of my life.. I have started loving myself... I have started loving my loneliness....May be one day I will not be lonely any more.. I will have miseries, loneliness and me as companions....

Lol!! And you say..... it took toll on you physically and mentally......Live my life... you will know what the term "taking toll" means...I just regret one thing...if only I'd noticed your fingers crossed.....

You know when every clutter you think start banging your head from inside.....just bang your head more... it will counteract the effect of you falling apart... listening  to some loud music defn feel soothing....J . Lo's 'On the floor' is my today's companion.....

Fine, Thank you Sir.

What is love??? Is it the butterflies or the everlasting darkness....

What I think is if one think the later.. then it is time to prepare for a move on... coz a relationship with adjustments and compromise may last long but will never be counted as a 'happily ever after'.

Love is like grapevines.. more you care.. more it blossoms.. but if you wanna make it to wine.. you never use the word... compromise and adjustments... and that is the secret of a great wine.. you just need to accept the conditions and then start loving... nor the reversal where compromises and adjustment follow...

Anyways life is tough.. and love can not be the food, shelter or clothing.. one need to work for it.. and that is where relationships differs from ....it is not a shortcut.. that one fall in love..one marries ... and both grow old in each others arms..there is 40 long years to survive... and that is the reality......

I am not that much in poetic english.. what I know is.. if the words..adjustment ,compromise and dark comes up together .. it means....what it means......

Few days back .. my ex called me... she told me the reason why she dumped me.. or rather was forced to dump me..and then said the words that .. I am avoiding her..as my phone was on charger and I was on my bathroom trip..then comes the message.. I deleted you of my life...I didn't call back..coz after all she was my ex even if it was her choice...and one day or the other she will need to abuse me and get over it...so that she can move on...

I felt bad.. but it doesn't pinch me anymore...I have learned one thing in from life... there is nothing important than oneself............they wanted a change.. you change.. they will say you don't stick to your character.. they wanted a change.. you didn't.. they will say you are not flexible...In short they will always have an excuse when they kick your ass.. and you have to live with it ...and pretend like there is nothing wrong ..coz if you don't...then like your ex the whole world will name you .." A**HOLE "...

So you smile....like there is nothing wrong.. so that people when ask  .."How are you, Sir??" You can answer. "Fine, Thank you Sir.".

PS: My phone screen and mic..cracked...when it was thrown towards the bed.. and it found the floor instead...In short..frustration weakens your aim ... :) ....A few days phone repair break might be good for the health