Monday, August 03, 2009

Another sad post...

Last few days I am waking up early in the morning and I m spending a helluva time in Ghats of Banaras.. ( river banks)...I am drinking a lot and I am smoking a lot... and I doing hash quite often..and I really don't know why I wanna get high... this morning when I woke up.. I was all banged up...my head was aching my heart was beating fast...I was sweating high and I was having some thousands thoughts waitng to barge in my head and explode it but really was not able to apprehend any of them..

Even frndhship day went off quick... I wished some close frnds and I then switched off my cell ...and slept the whole evening....


I don't know what is happneing to me..i wanna cry out loud..but I don't knw what should i cry about...i seriously need some anti depressant...and I don't wanna do morphine again...nor I wanna take any coke...because last time I bled hard after overdosing them to meself..

I don't know what I m worried about..but I guess I do need to take some time off to some place to have some great food and sex...but I m all deficient in money and u don't get food and sex if you don't have any....

I am all banged up now...I guess it's enough of blabbering... 

But I need all of you to pray for a girl who I din't know prior to her death but her death moved me up very hard...she committed suicide with a note that reads sumthing like......
 " Mom needs kidney badly and my other siblings need mom more than what I need... but she won' take my kidneys to live ..so I am committing suicide..so that she can't refuse to take my kidneys now..."

Only if she knew that kidneys from dead people can't be transplanted.... 

May God bless her soul and take some good deeds that I did in my life ..add them to her to give her a place in heaven... and forgive her for committing suicide...

Love u sweetheart from core of my heart..and I sincerely pray if u ever take birth on earth..let me be ur father ...

Ps: I seriously need you to pray for the girl...




13 comments:

  1. Bro get a grip yar..these temporary highs would leave you even more depressed, I would suggest give them all up and devote your time to a passion something that you always wanted to do but never had the time,hiking, singing, sports, learning some instrument etc.

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  2. that was really really sad.. :( but the way you spoke of her is so heart warming.. may the soul of this innocent girl rest in piece..

    and you take care of yourself.. i dont know what is affecting you so badly that you are doing all this to yourself.. but what you are doing is gonna affect you bad..so please take care of yourself..

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  3. I did say a prayer for the girl.

    And hey whats wrong with u...i really dont know whats bothering u so much but i hope u get over this phase soon!!all the best buddy!

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  4. Rough patch eh... getting laid would certainly help ;)

    That's a very sad story about that girl. Hope the mother finds a donor.

    And chin up dude, this too shall pass.

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  5. Hey! The girl's story was heart breaking :( Definitely will keep her in my prayers....

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  6. bro it happens to EVERYONE. dun think that all of us r happy and cheerful all the time. we all hv days like this..like how u r feeling. Just that I choose not to write abt such days cos I wanna avoid scaring ppl :) I can get very depressed, gloomy and scary sometimes hehe...

    just know one thing...it WILL pass.

    *HUGZ*

    And Im very sorry abt that girl...it's awful that it happened to her. So very sad!


    Keshi.

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  7. sadness everywhere.. the girl needs someone

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  8. I am so very sad to hear about the girl.

    And glad to know you are better today.

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  9. @ Sourish

    hey wass wrong, please get hold of your emotions and get back on track,. I understand its easy said than done, but i wish you peace, calm and strength to overcome the current low. Hope to see you back in full swing :))

    aww poor child, i m having a loss at words. I pray her family has the courage to take the heavy blow.

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  10. now pull yourself together and concentrate on some things that matter.. you got to get over this state of mind!!
    and i will keep this girl in my prayers :)

    you take good care!

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  11. That was so sad reading it! Just to think some of us think suicide is away to get from our problems and she wanted it to help out her mom!

    Prayers are with her family at this time, and G-d knows all about her heart and soul! I am sadden!


    NOW! you stop being depressed and all that stuff. This is from someone that knows you come to everyone else side to help them and I am doing it for you this time!!

    Calm down get you some rest and stop thinking.. No drinking, no coke, no NOTHING!!

    Ne

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  12. Dude ! Wtf is going on ? Get a grip,will ya ?

    You're not a child or a dazed teen that you dunno what to do and what not to do. And booze-hash-cigs-sex will not give you peace of mind or fulfillment of heart, it comes from other things.

    Join some organisation, or get a job- any job, do sme volunteering..spend your time in doing smth constructive. I cant believe a person of your age and education can talk like that.

    Its high time. Grab your act together buddy, else tomoro will bring nothing but remorse.

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  13. thx for the concerns frnds...I get depression phases quite often..and as I said ..I din't do coke nor I did heroine..but alcohol found the way in :P

    but I am okay now...and I love you all a lot... thx for being there...

    and i am including you too my dear ex :)

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