Pick up Lines

When I was kid, I used to hate girls.

They were like enemies to me and I used to pull a lot of them like Pull thier hairs and pull up their tops and pull down their skirts... those were my forte which I used to do with perfection..

It was not  soon that I got to understand the true value of having a girl by my side ..like in teenage it was a pride to have a girl friend in two places one in same school and one in another all girls school... :D and later you need to have a non school girlfriend only who need to occasionally pay you a visit with some kisses here n there :P

But for picking up a girl from all girls school , it was hell tough with no internet teaching available at least was  not cheap. So I had to ask my near dumb friends to look into it and what they came up with nearly changed my life ...I was without a girl friend for a long time...lol


So I will just pick up some lines to be used by you which has some effect...

Like the good effect pick up line...to be used when the girl is sweet homely and innocent...

Characteristic of a good pick up line:

1) Funny

2) A little twisted so that she can understand what u meant only thinking about it for a while

3) Should be said with puppy eyes followed by a wicked smile when she understand wat you wanted to say

4) U should be properly dressed  and do not look like some serial killer let loose

So good girls Pickup lines are :

- Honey, I'm new in this town - do ya think I could have directions to your house.

- Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.

- Be unique and different, just say yes.

- Is your name related to Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell. 

- Please help the homeless. Take me home with you..

- What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?

- You are a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

- Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

- Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.

- Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?

- Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day.

- Help, somethings wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you.

-You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!

- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again? 

OKK!!!!! Now These lines should not be used  but can be used if you know for sure that girl is too arrogant and need a squeeze before she even talk to you ...

- I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.

- Nice legs...what time do they open? 

- I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me. 

- I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter. 

- Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag. 

- You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me. 

- I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking? 

- Do you work for Postal service ? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

- You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

So choose the lines wisely and do tell me if you have anything more to add here :P...love you all...

Picture Courtesy :  All links intact..

2 Adult jokes and a song...for Harini

Disclaimer: Adult and Explicit content ... read at your own risk...lol!!!.

Hahahaha!! the title sounded like weddings and a funeral type... and this post is dedicated to my sweet friend Harini who just turned legal few days back and now can read this post without any legal tussel of putting my in jail for showing an underaged.. explicit content..... Kindda wat paedophiles do :D.... and ...guess wat I wrote this post on birthday and yet decided not to post on the day she turned legal...hahaha but now..she wanted it...so couldn't help it....

Let's go to the jokes......

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macaroni and cheese with broccoli."

Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork around your panties before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?"

and the next one....

A husband and a wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local golf club. The man and woman meet the pro and head to the driving range. The man goes up first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards.

The golf pro says, "Not bad, Now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife's breast." The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says "Excellent!"

Now the woman takes her turn. She hits the ball 30 yards.

Golf pro: "Not bad, but try holding the club like you hold your husband's dick." She swings and the ball goes 10 yards.

Golf pro: "Not bad, now try taking the club out of your mouth."

Hahahahah!!!! I wanted to share these PJs for long but couldn't as one of my follower was juvi :P but now she ain't...so happy birthday sweets....and now I can flirt back with ya...hahahha!!!!

A song for you dear Harini ..a song that I am nowadays hearing like hundred times a day on repeated mode... :)

Fire burning the danceflooor



PS: Just a light adult humor... more serious whining coming soon :D..lol and visited all of your blogs today but couldn't drop comment..will do tomorrow if time permits... love you all...

DESAFINADO...

I so want to write about so many things but seriously..I m not able to prioritize....so I guess todays' post is gonna be a desafinado...

A moron who din't have ticket killed several today.... two of the train Mewar express and Goa express collided  back to front in serious accident smashing a ladies compartment killing many and injuring a hell lot... The Mewar express was standing on the outer of Mathura as somebody who din't have any tickets wanted to get down down so he chain pulled the train to stop unexpectadely and  the Goa express which was on its back slammed it hard..... a funny part is Railway people were late to come even as the accident happened near a big railway station and local administration responded quickly... I don't know why Indian railways is  becoming a menace in the new government.

Coming to the new givt... what the fuck govt is doing..Last time I heard wen prices were so high ..govt. used to get toppled...so why this govt is refusing to see that potato is now Rs 20/kg and onion is close to 20 and fish and egg and milk and paneer everything is so high that I guess govt can not prevent severe out break of Protein energy malnutrition or in short hunger ....and if u want to take anything cheap is the family ski holidays i m nowadays talking about.

Nowadays I m very dipped in music...and the dance and Barclay's premier league where I saw liverpool is getting butt fucked even when they are haing the best midfield and offense in Barclay's and interestingly Manchester city is looking tough yet unlucky.... ohhhhh that day a superb song was being played after the Blackburn game... I gotta feeling by Black eyed Peas... and believe me the song and the video and the girls in them and the dress they wore superbly awesome....

OHH !! I remember !!! Please pray for Stephen Gately ..the sweet Boyzone singer who were my fst love wen I talk about english pop.. I don't know how he died of Natural cause but hearing Ronan cry at the funeral ceremony was so touchy....

that all for today...

I love you all ..in the mean time check out the song ' I gotta feeling' by Black eyed peas.

Happy Diwali

I know ...I know that I have been a lazy bum and was not able to visit any of you leave alone updating my own blog....  but I m not to be blamed ... I have some thousands ideas swarming in my mind.. but my net connection is playing hide n seek with me.... so until and unless I login with my own laptop I can't publish any thing... Yeah !! yeah ... I have a laptop too :P

hahahahahaa

OKie fst thing fst..... Happy Diwali to all of you.... May god fulfill all your dreams and help you spread love to all of the opposite sex and if some of u want to spread some to same sex than also :P ..

.hehehehe I m so not over with gay acceptance....

if we talk about gay acceptance....I m actually not in favor even thinking of dipping wee wee in others shit hole...gross.... and if u have ever cultured a 1 millionth dilution of shit in a culture plate to get a billion microbes in them u won't ever think about it too....I guess sometimes religious scriptures and old laws actually say something good.....at least who wants to have a green wee wee.....

ohhhh!!! I remember one instance....

I was in community service...and one day  a guy with no hands in a bathroom was standing infront of a toilet ...I asked him if he needed any help and he said can u take out me wee wee.. I can't u see..and I helped him with his zip and with my hanky took out his wee wee and saw that it is all infected...but yet community service was in my mind.... after he finished and I zipped him off I asked him what happened to ur wee wee...he took out his hand out of his shirt and said...." I don't know ..it is gross..see even I don't touch it...and after that I stopped doing community services...then n there....lol...gross...isn't it...hahahahaha.....okie this was a bad joke..but I wanted to say it for so long....hahahahahhaa :D

Coming to the point of absence...there was a conference in my institute and I was damn busy then....and before that I had been to an abroad conference and a long home vacation..so actually I was very occupied and on 22nd I have to leave again for the marriage of my undergrad school buddies who were in love from then and are tying the knots now...ohh!! by the way if u ever want to go to any cheap ski holidays u need to check on the site ...it is actually very good.... and the picturesque locations they have in their brochure is really tempting....

OHH!!! by the way..yesterday I was dead drunk and I drunk dialled my ex...and hahahahah u can guess the result..I was being a snob and she was being a sweetheart asking me to move on.. little knowing that how hard it is to move  when u have gulped eight straight pegs Vodka Smirnoff with lime cordial on the rox ... :D but I remember saying he I love you like million times..and damn!! she is good..she so mercilessly said OK! only...yeah once she used our code to say me too..but i was behaving like a damn prick every time because i was craving to her her say that more n more...excessive drinking do removes inhibition :D as I lost my own self ego asking her to love me once...ufff!! i was like a 1950's DEVDAS...but she behaved like a sweetheart really... :)

ahhhh!!!! Enough of whining....and I will defn catch up with all of ur blogs soon and believe me...this time I going all blogging less mafiawars... :D love u all ... happy Diwali...